Addicted || H.S.

Chapter 12

December 2014, Colorado - United States

Aurora Evans

Minutes passed by without saying a word and just looking at the frozen lake. The cold breeze blowing past us made my nose sniff a little. With my arms crossed to keep myself warm. I look out of the corner of my eye and see Harry lighting another cigarette, he blows out the smoke and immediately I smell the scent. Actually I hated it when guys smoke, but I don't care anymore.

"How do you and Ruby know each other?" He asks with his head turned towards the lake. His arm on the steel bench railing, his hand resting on his chin. I scan his side profile and see all the details on his smooth skin.

"Our mothers were best friends, so we have known each other since we were born."

"That's what you call a real friendship"

"I hope so"

"You share everything with her, don't you?"

"I do, but I'm never sure if Ruby does it."

"And if I tell you a big secret, will you tell Ruby?" He says with a serious tone, as if he was now going to tell me a big secret. He turns his head to me and gives me a stern look, as if he can tell when I'm lying. It doesn't scare me, it's just very intimidating when he's staring at me.

"Depends on how secret it is, but if I promise you I won't tell."
"Have you had a best friend since you were born?"

"I did, her name was Dana"

He said was. I swallow at him, staying quiet because I don't know how to react in these situations. Kind of socially awkward.

"She died"

"I'm so sorry"

"I didn't deserve her, she was a good person"

"So are you"

"Stop saying that Aurora, you know I'm not."

He's a good person, his past just modified it. I can tell he is full of problems he never shared, he is full of fears and stress. Good person, wrong life situation.

"Can I ask you how she died?"

"It happened only 2 years ago, here"

"Here?"

"Yeah, we went out after a party. We ran down the mountain and then.. I can't tell you what happened, I'm sorry. I could help her but at the time I didn't know what to do and I was scared."

He swallows and pauses for a moment. I keep waiting until he continues. Our loved ones have both died here in this place, and we have both came back.

"I could resuscitate her but I didn't. It's my fault. "

"If you had gone after her you would have died too Harry"

"You don't understand, everyone around me died because of me"

He is right, I don't understand a clue of what he is saying.

"What do you mean by everyone?"

"Listen, that you have a perfect life and everything will be fine with you does not mean that I have that" He hisses back at me, like he doesn't want to hear me.

My feelings about him are mixed, he can be rude but at the same time pretty kind. One thing is for sure, he is so emotional damaged and it actually makes me concerned.

"I've never said that"
"I don't have a perfect life"

He says nothing and shakes his head. That he says I have a perfect life makes me so annoyed. After my father passed away, I have never been 100 percent happy again. When I'm with friends I seem like the happy person but once I get home I feel so alone and hopeless. For years I had problems with my own mental health, at times I didn't even want to live. I was and always am too concerned with the health of others. I prefer to help everyone, but I forget myself, and I don't even realize that.