REMEMBER (l.s)

the light at the end of the tunnel

I SAID YES

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Memories... all of them came to me. All of them finally got out of the cage they were being trapped in.

I always imagined the cage to be a bird cage... something always locked up so the birds inside wouldn't be able to fly out and be free.

Now though.. the bird cage is missing the birds inside as they have all been freed and are now in my grasp.

In my memories.

I remember every little thing. From Louis and I's first date to when he proposed. From the fights in between to all the day dreams where I pictured him and I together.

I thought this was something that could only be solved in our dreams.. in an alternate universe where life truly didn't hate me, but I was wrong.

I let go of Gemma and look into her eyes. Mine are wide as can be and hers are soft, then she realizes what just happened.

"Do you-" She doesn't even finish what she has to say because I'm already nodding my head frantically.

Her smile has grown twice as large now and she hugs me once more.

"Go get your fiancé." She whispers in my ear. My heart is pounding, beating as fast as the speed of light. 

I nod and let go of her, turning around to see Louis hugging my mum. He's nodding at something she's saying but I can't hear her.

All I hear is my heartbeat begging to come out of my chest. 

In that very moment I see every Louis I've ever loved. From when we were toddlers to teenagers and to now. I see it all.

I see every moment we've ever had together. Every little memory that I finally remember. I remember.

I'm standing there.. frozen. Not knowing what to do at all. So I just examine him. I examine every feature on his face. I look at his expressions and the way he's moving.

His eyes are closed, lashes laying very still. Occasionally they move a tiny inch whenever the wind picks up.

The way his hair is pushed to one side of his face and some of it is even in front of his eyes but it looks like he doesn't care, just enjoying the feeling of my mums hugs.

I see how his arms are around my mums neck and how tight he is holding onto her. As if screaming for her to never let go. He looks like a little kid, scared to go to his first day of school.

Why didn't I realize he's been scared, hurt this entire time? Why didn't I ask him?

I start to tear up at the fact that when Louis opens his eyes slightly, a tear falls out. A single tear that holds all of the pain he's ever endured in his life. All of the fear in his body.

He then lets go of her. As he does so he instantly looks at me.. into my eyes that are full of pain and suffering. My eyes that once had every ounce of fear in them.. but now the fear isn't there anymore.

I'm not scared anymore.

I'm not scared to know that for these past three years my life has been a lie. I'm not terrified of the fact that I didn't remember Louis.

Maybe this was always in the cards for us. Maybe this was a test.. to see how much we truly loved one another.

After all the dark times we've endured we finally found the light at the end of the tunnel. The hope at the end of the fight.