He Changed Me (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Seven

I had to cut the chapter in two because it was too long. Enjoy. Happy Holidays.  If this chapter confuses you it means you skipped chapter six.

            The professor excused us earlier than the scheduled time for dismissal, which means I was sitting in the cafeteria waiting for Seth. I was nervous to the point where I felt nauseated. What would him telling me mean? Would it change the way we are with each other now? What am I talking about? He has a boyfriend. Somehow I keep forgetting that fact.

            Seth walked in the lunchroom. The only word I could find to describe him was yummy. I wish I could get over him and I wouldn’t think about him like that every time I see him. No matter how angry he makes me as soon as I cool off I go back to that sad pathetic person that wants him with every fiber of my being.

            Finally, his eyes landed on me. He waved but it wasn’t accompanied with his usual smile. “Hey,” he said.

            “Hey.” He didn’t take his eyes off of my face and I did the same. After a moment of us staring at each other with partially blank looks he turned a beautiful shade of red. He probably didn’t notice he was staring at me to begin with.

            “I’m going to get food.” He blurted out and dashed from the seat in front of me. It’s sad to say that I couldn’t keep my eyes off of his ass as he stood in line. It turned me on so much I had to grind my teeth together and look away. What is wrong with me?

            Seth came back with a cup of F’real Chocolate Milkshake in his hands. I frowned, “What happened to food?”

            “I can’t eat when I’m nervous.” I nodded my understanding. My eyes went to bruise on his cheek then to his lips wrapped around the red straw. It reminded me the best and worst day of my life.

            “For what it’s worth, I never meant to hurt you and leaving you like I did was the hardest thing I ever had to do. Especially after we shared something so special”

            “Mhm,” I responded.

            “Something happened. I didn’t leave because I’m an asshole or I was using you. In fact, the reason I left had nothing to do with you. While you were sleeping, I got a phone call from my brother. My mom was sick and my baby sister…” he choked up and he started breathing hard, as if he was going to start hyperventilating any minute now. “I’m sorry, I can’t. I want to tell you it’s just so hard to talk about it”

            It felt like instinct when I placed my hand over his. The way our hands were situated gave him leverage to grip my thumb tightly. “It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me now. Obviously haven’t dealt with whatever it is yet so whenever you’re ready.”

            “I’m sorry, I really want to tell you because I don’t want you to hate me anymore. You’re always angry with me and it hurts, it hurts a lot”

            “Seth, it’s okay. I understand a little now so I won’t be angry.” He nodded and I let his hands go.

            “I’m sorry, I really am sorry. You weren’t the only one hurting. I wanted to reach out to you but I wasn’t in a good place. There was so much things going on around me and then my brother had to go back to the Navy and everything fell apart again. The fact that I missed you like crazy didn’t help either”

            “…Maybe telling me how you feel right now isn’t a good idea,” I muttered.

            “Okay. I’m sorry”