He Changed Me (BoyxBoy)

Chapter Sixteen

Hellooo xoxo

            Surprisingly, waking up Thursday morning the first thing I did was smile. I saw Amelia yesterday, and even though I was upset that she’s suffering by being kept alive on only a feeding tube. Hunter and my father are being selfish and that’s not fair. Some may think it’s wrong of me to feel this way or say what I feel but I’m sure it would be a different conversation if I were to ask them if they would like to be kept alive for a year after being in a vegetative state where they can’t even think, just waiting for death to come and take them. I’m sure they would have a different answer. I would not want to be kept alive and the second I die I would haunt everyone responsible.

            Regardless, I was happy to see her. I brushed her hair and I told her everything about what’s been going on with me whether she could hear me or not. I told her that I kissed Travis, who is the love of my life, and that it was on impulse. I also told her that it reminded me of my feelings and how very much in love with him I am, even deeper now than I was. I know it shouldn’t have happened like it did. Our kiss should have happened on it’s own without any incentive than our own need and our own feelings for each other. I told her that too.

            As I showered I thought about how I felt when Travis kissed me back. I never expected that to happened. I thought he would pull away and yell at me, which is why I held on to his jacket. It was like my heart was on overdrive when his lips began moving with mine. We got lost in the kiss. It was like the world disappeared and I forgot why I had kissed him in the first place. When he held me closer and kissed me harder I had to shut my eyes tighter to prevent the tears from folding over like a tsunami.

            I went into my room to get dressed. My closet is a lot fuller than when I had just moved here, thanks to Travis. Travis said sometimes it’s easier to pick out an outfit when I pick out jeans first, that way I can find a shirt that goes well with it instead of seeing a shirt that I like then change umpteen jeans that looks right with it. Shirts are easier and less aggravating to change than jeans are. He’s so gay. I giggled at my thought.

            The only downside about having a lot of clothes is not I spend twice as much time picking out something to wear. After much contemplation, I put on black skinny jeans (not the kind that prevents blood flow), black long sleeve shirt, a black letterman jacket with leather sleeves and black TOMS. Travis would approve of this outfit. He likes the all black thing. He says its badass.

            I walked pass his door, wanting so desperately to knock so that I could just get a glimpse of him. No matter how bad I’m feeling I always feel a little better after seeing him. That rarely happens on Thursdays though because he sleeps in, being that he only has one class at 2 P.M so he watch movies until late on Wednesday and sleep most of the day.

            Usually I would make a proper breakfast but today I felt for some fruits. Travis’ healthy habits are brushing off on me. I picked out: pineapple (already sliced), cantaloupe, green and purple grapes, strawberries, an orange, watermelon, kiwi, and mango. That’s all we had. I cut what needed to be cut up in squares. Next I squeezed a lime over the fruits and sprinkled some granulated sugar. I put Travis’ share in a bowl, placed it in the fridge, put mine in a disposable cup and I was on my way with my book bag on my shoulder.

            I ate while walking to the bus stop, enjoying how the flavors from the fruits exploded and combined in my mouth. Moaning as I chewed, I ignored the stares of people waiting for the bus.

            Some point in the day, my mind decided to be an asshole and had me wondering if Travis was mad at me. He hadn’t acted differently but still. I hope he’s not mad at me; I wouldn’t be able to handle it.