his sapphire • anthony bridgerton

fourty-eight • tightrope

TW: mentions of miscarriage!!

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"high in the sky we can see the whole world down below."
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Aubrey Hall, November 1814

Nola had officially re-entered herself into society. Rejoining Violet's chaperoning of promenading with Eloise. Knowing she was the only one who could test the patience of any suitors that dawned upon young Eloise- she knew the girl was not ready- and she refused to push.

Anthony returned to his work, keeping financial tabs on the estate, and unfortunately, spending less time with his family.

Nola had always brought Alverie around with her, now never parting ways with the child. It brought out a new sense of comfort, and it helped ease her mind.

Using the baby carriage to trail the child along, Violet looped her arm through her daughter-in -laws, "you are incredibly strong, you know?" Violet continued to smile at passerby's. "I can not begin to imagine how you feel, but I will always be here for you, Nola."

Giving the woman a small smile, she tried to avoid the subject, but she had to talk to someone that wasn't her husband. "I was always taught that losing a child was the most sinful thing." The woman next to hers eyes narrowed. "I thought I had failed Anthony."

"Nola..."

"I thought he would have begun to hate me," she recalled, "to not stand to be near me."

"Nola, that would have never happened." Violet knew this pain very well- having lost her first child, but she was quickly blessed with Anthony. It was an aching that never went away- always wondering what they would have been like, or who they would have been.
It was quick thing-  to get attached.

The whole Ton had been notified of the loss faced by the Viscount and Viscountess, something Nola wished had not occurred. She could barely take two steps without someone within her view gave her a look of pity- highly unnecessary.

"I understand that," the girl confirmed, inhaling deeply. "Now."

"There was nothing you could have done." Violet began, seeing Eloise stalk off to the grass. "The hardest thing in life is moving on," she paused the girls movements, taking the time to look her in the eyes. "But we must, Nola." The girl nodded, pulling the woman into a long embrace, "I wish things were different." The woman choked, finally understanding her own emotions with the situation at hand. "You will never go through anything alone, dear."

They continued to follow Eloise, who released a long laugh. "I hate this." Nola could not hold back a small chuckle, trying to hide the look of amusement. "This is terrible."

"Oh, most definitely, Eloise." She agreed, falling to the grass beside her. "Promenading in the park is most awful."

Back at Aubrey Hall, Benedict and Colin stood and watched their eldest brother, a look of concern taking over their faces.

Nola was feeling more comfortable in the presence of their mother, but Anthony needed her. With his head wrapped up in the documents, the second brother could not help but acknowledge the look of sorrow he held. "Anthony...?" Benedict asked, getting the mans attention. "What is wrong?"

The man always tried to hold a hard persona- he felt he had to. He was the head of the family, and for something to be out of his control... it irked him. He narrowed his eyes at his brother. "Nothing."

"Anthony, you do not need to act so tough in front of us. You need to say how you feel." Colin pushed. "Just because you are a man does not mean you can exploit your feelings."

"Colin..."

"No, Anthony. You are in pain." He scolded. "Talk."

The oldest cleared his throat, and with all the staring, he felt himself slowly start to break down. Anthony never liked to portray any emotion- he was never able to.

When Edmund died, he was handed a list on how to proceed, and simply did. There was no grieving, there was no time to, but this. His child was gone, and his wife was in pain, and there was nothing he could do.

"There had to have been something..." he mumbled.

"What?" Benedict asked, leaning in closer.

"There had to have been something I could have done." He choked, coving his mouth with his hand. "Something that could have been different..."

"Anthony, there was nothing anyone could have done!" Colin exclaimed, standing up from his spot. "I know it is har-"

Anthony was now becoming defensive. He hated that his brothers were trying to calm him when they could hardly understand the situation. This was Nola and his baby, "you do not know anything, Colin!"

"Anthony..." Benedict warned.

"No! I am tired of not being allowed to grieve." He yelled, slamming his hands on the desk. "My child is gone, and my wife can barely stand to look at me."

Benedict had quickly noticed the tear that rolled down his cheek, and it was the first time he had ever seen the man cry- next to when they had witnessed the miscarriage happen. "Anthony!" He shouted.

The man stalked up to his elder brother and just pulled him into his arms, letting his tough exterior fall. "I am so sorry."

Colin stood back and watched, before inching forward and throwing himself into the embrace. "I am here for you, Anthony..." he began, "we are here for you."