Courtney's Going To Prom

7~A Million Dreams

WARNINGS: gun violence, slurs

I sat on the floor of the shower for quite a while before turning up the handle to make the water warmer just kept it cold. I stayed there to the point I began shivering. I still can't believe my dad would make me go through that. And the fact he wanted to finish the number before helping me just makes it even worse. I turned the shower off, stepping out into the steamy bathroom before wrapping a towel around my wet figure. I slowly made my way through my night time routine, dragging it out and trying to avoid coming out of the bathroom at all costs. But once I finished cleaning my face, I knew there was no point in trying to avoid dad. I walked out of the bathroom, speeding past dad. I fell onto my bed and quickly buried myself under the covers. I heard dad sigh loudly before turning the lights off. I slowly drifted off into an extremely restless sleep.

The very next moment after I thought I was asleep, I was back in the arena. God. I hate this place and I've only ever been once. I took in a shaky breath before beginning to explore my surroundings. As I walked around the main area, I began hearing voices and laughter come from around the corner. I stopped and ducked behind a nearby pole because who knows who's coming. I sat and waited for a few minutes until I heard the footsteps fading away as they walked into the distance. I cautiously stood up and sprinted down the only familiar hallway. Backstage. I slouched down into a corner and just sat there. There was no one else. No trucks. Just me. Why am I here? I have no want and or need to be here. So why?

Suddenly, I heard loud and heavy footsteps coming from the other side of the hall. I froze and ever so slightly turned my head to see what it was. And there it stood. The audition table. To some it may look glorious but for me, it's not. I can't stand seeing it. The first time I ever saw one in person was when I was nine years old. I was auditioning for School Of Rock. It would've been my big break. But once I was standing alone in the audition room in front of the director, casting director, stage manager and choreographer, I froze. I knew my song. It was only thirty seconds long. I knew my monologue. But it's as if someone erased it from my memory. I stood there frozen. I had no idea what was going on with me. I was completely lost. The nice people ushered me out of the room and took me to my dad before starting the next audition. I didn't get the part in case you hadn't figured it out.

But not only was the audition table on the stage, it was the casting director. She stared at me with daggers in her eyes from many years ago and they're still there. My heart rate began to pick up. I slowly backed away, not turning my back on her. I don't trust her to see me while my guards down. As I felt freedom get closer to my fingertips, my back hit the cold wooden door. I sharply inhaled and tried to find a way to get out. I grabbed the door handle and turned it praying it opens. It didn't. I whipped around and started pushing and pulling on the door. It didn't budge one bit. I started panicking as I felt a pair of eyes lying on me. There's no hope for me.

"Courtney, there's no point in trying to run." The lady said, the room space cold

"What do you want from me." I replied, trying to hid the shakiness in my voice

"I want to give you a second chance." She answered

"Why would you do that? You're the one who hurt me." I commented, turning around to find myself far from the door I was originally facing.

"I didn't hurt you. You froze. That's on you." 

"I understand that but you stared at my terror and didn't escort me out of the room along with the others."

"I apologize for my actions. But I really suggest you take this second chance."

"And why would I do that? I don't give second chances because whenever I do I get hurt and somehow I always get blamed."