A phobia is an irrational fear of something that’s unlikely to cause harm. The word itself comes from the Greek word phobos, which means fear or horror.
In front of me is the man I only love. Ryeo Craige Anderson, my long time boyfriend. When the pianist start to change the song he is playing. The song.... it's our song.
"When your legs don't work like they used to before
And I can't sweep you off of your feet
Will your mouth still remember the taste of my love
Will your eyes still smile from your cheeks~" My man start to look at me intensely. It feels like he digging me to my soul.
I start to tremble and feel nervous. "No please." I silently pray. Hindi ako handa.
"And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70
And baby my heart could still fall as hard at 23
And I'm thinking 'bout how people fall in love in mysterious ways
Maybe just the touch of a hand
Oh me I fall in love with you every single day
And I just wanna tell you I am" He hold my hand napatingin ako sa kamay niyang naka patong sa aking kamay. Ang lamig nito sobrang lamig.
"Fuck" I cursed inside my mind.
"So honey now
Take me into your loving arms
Kiss me under the light of a thousand stars
Place your head on my beating heart
I'm thinking out loud
Maybe we found love right where we are" Hinila niya ko patayo sa aking upuan at siya naman ay lumuhod. Naluha ako it can't be. I can't.
Tumigil sa pag kanta ang pianista ngunit tuloy tuloy ang pag tipa niya. Ramdam ko ang tingin ng lahat.
"Hon, Xap, We've been together for 10 years now. Honestly, I can't wish for anything anymore but to spend the rest of my life with you." Kinuha niya ang munting kahon sa kanyang bulsa sabay binuksan ito sa harap ko. He is in tears my man is in tears.
"Will you marry me, Xaphire Vein? Be my wife. Be the mother of my childrens" He said in between his tears.
"I-I'm sorry...." Then I run. I run away to my man.
I was outside waiting for a taxi ng maramdaman ko si Ryeo na hinawakan ang aking balikat.
"What was that, Xap?" He ask me frustration is all over his face.
"I'm S...." I was about to say sorry .
"Fuck it, Xap! Stop saying sorry." Sigaw na galit sakin ni Ryeo
"But...." pero bago pa ko mag salita ay pinutol niya ang aking sasabihin.
"Xap naman hindi ko na alam gagawin ko. I'm damn frustrated! I've been proving myself to you all this years." He sighed.
"Ryeo, I'm sorry but please....." He stop me again.
"Xap make up your mind. I wouldn't settle na hanggang ganito lang tayo. I want to get married. We're not getting any younger, Hon. I want us to build a family. I want to finally call you my wife."Then he left me dumbfounded.
I cried and all the flashback start to play inside my head.
My mom and dad, they don't have a successful marriage lagi sila nag-aaway. Away dito away dyan. Kahit wala ng kwenta pinag-aawayan pa din. Hanggang nag hiwalay sila at ako ang pinaka na apektuhan. Pareho silang ayaw sakin. Dun nag umpisa ang takot ko. Ang phobia ko....
Ang takot sa pag papakasal. Gamophobia.
It feels like all marriage will just fail. Tulad ng nangyari sa magulang ko. Aksaya ng panahon. Aksaya sa pera. Aksaya sa lahat ng resources. I never went to any wedding it make me cringe it make me feel dizzy. I just can't.
Mahal ko si Ryeo. God knows how much I love him but I can't find myself marrying. It just not possible.
Ryeo? I'm lucky to have him. Boyfriend material actually Husband material. Mabait, gentleman, may takot sa Diyos, Family man, sweet and etc. Sobrang swerte ko to the point na minsan kinukwestyon ko kung deserve niya ba ko. Sabi ko yes I do deserve him. Pero today, I feel like I don't.
Of course, someone like Ryeo wants to get married. Ang tanga ko.... Bakit ko sinang alang alang ang lalaki na mahal ko sa pang yayari na ito.
May pumara na taxi at nag pahatid ako sa isang bar dun ako ay nagpakalango sa alak. Hindi ko mabilang kung ilan na ang natumba ko ang alam ko na lang nasa harapan ko na naman si Ryeo.
"Hon, ano ba? Diba dapat ako yung nagkakaganyan. Bakit ka nag pakalasing?" Ryeo asked me while he's driving.
"Hon ghusto mo ma-malaman *hic* kung bakit hindi ko kaya *hic* mag pakashal sayo? Hahahaha." I asked
"Why Xap? Why?" He asked.
"Yung totoo bha *Hic* HAHA kasi haha hon may Gamophobia ako haha *hic*" I laughed sarcastically. "I'm scared of marriage, Ryeo *hic* Remember pag inaaya mo ko sha mga kashal l-lagi ako may dahilan. We never went to anyone's wedding and t-this is the reason, hon. *hic* I'm shorry, Ryeo. I love you but I'm scared." I start to cry and Ryeo stop driving.
He looks at me.
"Hon, 10 years na tayo but ngayon ko lang nalaman. I'm sorry, baby. You should have told me. That was just a phobia lalaban natin yan. Psychiatrist? kahit saan ipapagamot natin yan hanggang makapag pakasal na tayo." He smiled and kissed my lips.
Fast Forward..
"I now pronounced you husband and wife. Welcome our newly weds Mr. and Mrs. Ryeo Craige Anderson" The priest announced.
As I feel a lips touches mine.
Yes, we had fought my phobia. We win our battle and now we are finally one. Pinag isa kami ng kasal na ito.
Love really do move mountains. It even lift my phobia.
Today, I'm proud to announced that I am Xaphire Vein Anderson. I have win against my phobia.
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One Shot Story (Collections)
Short StoryOne Shot Stories Genre: Tragic Love Story Psychopaths
