Greyhound

Eight

Amelia sits just inside the talent door, determined to catch Ashton as he comes in. He had been avoiding her, she was sure of it at this point. He'd ignoring her at the show in Houston and hidden away for the days off, but she was bound and determined to make him talk today. Whatever the issue she was not going to deal with the silent treatment or being ghosted by the only person in the world she felt she could really and truly call her friend.

"Oh, hey Amelia." Crystal smiles as she and Michael enter the building.

"Is he still ignoring you?" Michael frowns as he sees her, glancing behind him to where Amelia assumes Ashton is coming.

"Since the show in Austin." She nods, "And I am over it."

"For fuck sake!" Michael groans, "Good! Make him talk to you, he's acting like a damn child."

"I will." She smiles, waving slightly as they move past her.

She hears him before she sees him, his loud laugh she'd grown to love at AA meetings reaching her ears before Calum and he enter the building, his face falling as he meets her eye.

"I'll see you in the green room." Calum glances between them both before hurrying away.

"One hundred and eight. And I want a fucking explanation Frankie. What did I fucking do to deserve you ignoring me and treating me like shit for the last four days." She crosses her arms, glaring straight into his eyes.

"Nothing." He sighs, brushing his large hand through his hair, "it's what I did." she can see the muscles of his jaw working as he swallows hard, clearly uncomfortable.

"What did you do then?" She asks sharply.

"Four." he looks her dead in the eyes, guilt clearly written across the hazel in them.

"Four?" she whispers out, her heart plummeting into her stomach.

"Four." He shrugs halfheartedly, and turns to walk away.

"Wait!" She calls out, grabbing his arm before he can move very far.

"It's okay, you can be mad and disappointed. I am." he sighs, no longer willing to meet her eyes.

"You are avoiding me because you had a relapse?" She frowns, not letting go of his wrist even when he tries to pull away.

"It wasn't just a drink Grey... I binged." He sighs, leaning his back against the wall they are standing next to.

"Why?" her voice is small as she asks.

"The show in Austin." His focus is on his boot, kicking softly at the concrete floor, "It's such a fucking stupid excuse. The crowd wasn't vibing, they were bored by us, and it got to me. I hated not being able to reach them, to get them up and moving. I was angry after the set, I hated that show, because we played great, and yet no one really wanted us there. I felt like an opening act again and I lost it. As soon as we finished Who Do You Love I went back to the bus. I told everyone I was going to get some air and they let me. I drank, and I drank. I numbed the anger, or at least tried to. It was so stupid of me."

"It's a process Ash," She sighs, lifting his chin with her small hand, getting him to meet her eyes. "We are running in a circle that literally never ends. Sometimes we have to restart."

"I never want to go back to that person, to be the drunk version of me again." He sighs, "I'm trying so hard to move forward. I don't want this addiction to beat me like that."

"I know. I know more than you could ever imagine. I get it. I deal with it. But setbacks, relapses, they are to be expected. But how the hell am I supposed to support you in restarting when you shut me out?" she smiles softly.

"I felt ashamed. How could I look you in the eye and tell you zero, or one, or two..."

"The same way you just looked me in the eye and told me four."

"Oh, so in a way that makes me feel like a fucking failure then." he sighs, letting the crown of his head fall back against the wall.

"You're not a failure. You are so strong. You made it one hundred and nine days without a drink. That's big. I've never made it that long."

"Wait until tomorrow, then you'll have me beat."

"Na, tomorrow I tie your record. The next day I'll have you beat."

"I hope you do." He smiles finally, though only slightly.

"All I'm saying Ashton, is your first attempt went better than all of my attempts thus far. Before I met you, my best was forty-six. I've been at this for a year hard core, and nearly two attempting somewhat. A full year though since my entire world fell apart because of my addiction. And my best record was forty-six. And then I showed up, day five at an AA meeting in July, and I met a tall guy named Frankie who suddenly made me feel a whole lot less alone in my fight. And now, I'm standing here at one hundred and eight days clean. And I feel stronger than I ever have. I feel like I can actually make this work, that I can beat this addiction. And I am not giving up on you. Do you know how many times in December last year my sober streaks were four and five days? I didn't hit twenty until February. And forty-six was the streak I fell off just before I met you. You are doing amazing. Do not let this ruin that."

"I was ashamed." He sighs, "I felt like I failed you."

"You're sobriety is not something you can fail for me. You are working for it for you. You are the only one that matters in your journey. You having setbacks does not mean you failed me. It means you're human, and you earned another chance to learn and try again. And I am here to support you in that. The same way you would support me if I had been the one who relapsed. You wouldn't have been mad if it had been me would you?"

"No, I would have done this." He motions to her, "I would have given you support and reminded you it's not the end of the world or of your journey to sobriety."

"Exactly. So why the fuck did you avoid me for four days instead of coming to me. If anyone on this stupid tour is going to understand what if feels like internally to fall off the wagon like this it's me. So why didn't you let me help you through that?"

"I'm sorry Grey." He says after a minute. "Really."

"I accept your apology. Now that I know why you were avoiding me, will you allow me to support you on the restarted journey? Let me help you beat your one hundred and nine day streak?"

"Yeah. I'd like that. But first, you better beat my streak." he truly grins finally, pulling her forward into a bone crushing hug.

"Two days and I will own the longest streak." She giggles into his neck, hugging him tightly too.

"I hope your streak forever stays one hundred and four days ahead of mine." he whispers.

"We can do this Ash, together."

"No more hiding if we stumble?" he pulls back slightly so he can meet her eyes.

"No more hiding, and can we promise to find the other if we are having a weak moment? If you want to reach for a drink over a shitty audience or if I'm having a bad day and want to take the edge off. We find each other first. I'll help you, you help me."

"I promise. And I'm sorry. For drinking, but more so, for hiding it from you and avoiding you."

"I'm glad I finally got you to talk. Tonight's show is going to be better alright, and if they suck too, we can go get a coffee, or pastries, or something that isn't alcohol to drown your sorrows in okay?"

"Thanks Grey." He nods.

"We will do this Frankie. I believe in us." she smiles, tugging at his waist where her arms are still wrapped until he pulls her back in for another tight hug.

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That resolved quickly didn't it..?

Does that make you nervous?

I needed to stay awake long enough to wait for the laundry to finish tonight so you got an extra update! Doubt you'll get another before Saturday. Vacation is a blast but I miss updating this story too.

Vote and comment!

I love you guys!!!

~M =)