Haikyuu x reader chatfic | tsukishima |

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Daddy: hey guys! This is the team gc, don't be stupid please

BOOM: wdym we're never stupid

BigSTRONG: yeah we're never stupid

Mah: Tanaka, you fell through a lake three days ago

BigSTRONG: the ice looked solid

Damaged: yoooo

Daddy: who's this?

Mah: you made the chat dingus

Damaged:it's l/n <3 your newest team manager

Daddy: nah I meant to add you it's just, your name. Is unsettling

Damaged: o yeah, haha 😭

BigSTRONG: HI I'm Tanaka!

BOOM: I'm noya!

Daddy: I'm daichi sorry about the name idk hoe to change it

Mah: I'm sugawara

SALT: I'm tsukishima -.-

Underrated: I'm ennoshita

Jesus: I'm asahi! Hi!

FLAP: I'm hinata! Hello!!

Milkman: I'm kagayama

Gucciman: I'm yamaguchi!! <3

Damaged: yamaguchi is my favorite

Gucciman: REALLY?!

FLAP: BUT I WANNA BE YIUR FAVORITE

BOOM: NO MEEEEEEE

Damaged: omg everyone should give me a hug and whoever is the best and hugging is the winner.

SALT: I am not participating

Daddy: you know what that sounds like a fun thing, a hugging competition and y/n is the judge. We can have it before practice.

Damaged: YO YOURE SERIOUS THIS IT POG
Damaged: also love the punctuation

FLAP: I think Suga is gonna win, he has the mom hugs

Damaged: well I have mommy issues, so I'll either love it or hate it no in between
Damaged: WAIT THAT WAS PERSONAL
Damaged: forgot your sense of humor is a little less broken over here woops

Daddy: I-
Daddy: I'm extremely worried for you

Damaged: don't worry about it haha

FLAP: then daichis dad hugs will win

Damaged: sorry also have daddy issues
Damaged: I DID IT AGAIN
Damaged: anyway everyone has to participate if you don't, thennnnn, I get to pick your punishment

SALT: or what?

Damaged: you either do the punishment I say, orrrrrrrrr hmmmmm
Damaged: you have to let me paint your nails

BOOM: will you paint my nails even if I participate

Damaged: YES FIGHT THOSE GENDER NORMS
Damaged: I also can't stop laughing at daichi's username I can't-
Damaged: my sense of humor is broken I used to be funny but now I'm not

BigSTRONG: oof gg rip

Damaged: Ik I'm about to log out of life
Damaged: I need to stop being so sad
Damaged: only a hug from everyone on the team can save me

SALT: I'm not hugging you

Damaged: mr salt, all I wanna do is be your friend and you're being rude

SALT: she called me mr salt

Damaged: FINE SALTYSHIMA, I want to be your friend because you don't want to be my friend and I like to attract toxic people and toxic experiences so I can rationalize my pain and suffering.
Damaged: ok you guys don't get it THAT WAS A JOKE I SWEARRR

Daddy: that's it I'm getting ukai

Damaged: PLEASE DONT I SAID I WAS KIDDING

Prettysetterpresident: why's this my name and WHY IS L/N MAKING SELF DEPRECATING JOKES

Damaged: I DIDNT MEAN IT

Prettysetterpresident: NOT AN EXCUSE

Damaged: IM ONLY MENTALLY INJURING MYSELF BUT YOU SMOKE AND THATS GROSS 🤢

Prettysetterpresident: do you want me to get the councilor?

Damaged: no <3

Prettysetterpresident: that's what I thought

Damaged: YOURE NOT MY REAL DAD

Prettysetterpresident: she needs a father figure so much Oml

Damaged: will you be my dad??

Prettysetterpresident: if you stop being depressed

Damaged: like it's that easy

Prettysetterpresident: then no stable father figure for you

Damaged: I wouldn't call you stable

Prettysetterpresident: .-.

Damaged: fineeeeeee

Prettysetterpresident: but you can't call me dad

Damaged: I was planning on calling you pops actually

Prettysetterpresident: that's so weird
Prettysetterpresident: you're lucky I'm friends with your uncle: or you'd be back in America by now I stg

Damaged: he's joking

Prettysetterpresident: I'm not

Jesus: I'm praying for you

Prettysetterpresident: thank you asahi 👏