Camp Washington lams story

Chapter 3 truth or dare

This chapter is very emotional. Peggy plays a bigger role
Tw: suicidal mentions self harm and depression

John POV
We finished dinner and headed to our cabin. I was fitting in and I was happy. We changed into our pjs and then Herc said "are you ready?" "For what?" I responded then realization hit Herc "truth or dare!" He said sitting on the floor cuddling Laff to his chest. I sat down next to Alex. "Okay since John is new here he has to go first." Alex said brightly. "Truth or dare?" He asked eagerly. "Ummm truth." I responded. "What is your sexuality?" Laff asked. I was very uncomfortable answering the question and everyone sensed it. Then I blurted out " I'm gay." Turning red. "Makes sense" Herc said and Laff agreed.
The rest of the game went smoothly. Then Alex chose truth for the first time in the game. I decided to ask him " why do you call Mr. Washington washingdad?" I was extremely curious I thought it was funny and really cute. Instead of answering the question he ran out of the cabin with tears welling in his eyes. I tried to follow him I didn't know that was a sensitive topic. Then Herc said "Laff let's go get him. John don't worry you couldn't have possibly known that was a sensitive topic." I started crying "I just got here and I ruined everything already. I'm so stupid." Laff tried to reassure me but it didn't help. I screwed up I can't do anything right. What's the point of even living. As soon as they left I grabbed a pocket knife that someone left on the desk and made slices on my arm. I could see the scars that had recently healed. Until blood covered it all. I was already in so much pain I didn't feel it anymore.

Alex POV
I ran to Peggys cabin. I was not ready to talk about it not to John at least. Peggy asked "Alex what happened?" I responded with "we were playing truth or dare and John asked the no question." I cried and she pulled me into a hug then she said "wait John as in John Laurens John? Don't worry he
Is a very understanding person." She said and then Herc and Laff came in "there you are!" They yelled. "Wait if your here then who's with John." Peggy questioned. "Oh he's back at the cabin." They said. "Was he upset?" She asked. "Yeah. But we tried to make him feel better. But he kept saying things like 'I am so stupid' and stuff. He is really sensitive." Herc said. "Oh no!" She yelled then she started running to our cabin. We followed not far behind. She burst into the room and the sight I saw may haunt me for the rest of my days. (Y'all can skip this if it makes you uncomfortable.) John was on the floor of our cabin he was shaking and he was holding a pocket knife towards his chest. He had cuts on his arms that I assumed he made himself. His face was drenched in tears and blood was all over him. Peggy knocked the pocket knife out of his hands. And pulled him up onto a bottom bunk. She then said " John I thought you stopped." "I tried I couldn't do it anymore I'm so sorry." Laff, Herc and I were still in shock from everything that just happened. John looked up and saw me and then started having a panic attack. I have had many panic attacks before so I gave him some water. And tried to snap him out of it. Peggy pulled him into a tight hug. Then we suggested to bring him to the nurse. He refused,and I asked why. He started crying a little harder. "They'll tell my dad I have mental health issues then he'll say I'm just being dramatic and want to come home. That's what he said the last time someone found me and they believed him." He cried leaning more into Peggy. I was upset that John had to go through that. I decided that he shouldn't have to go through that. He then apologized to me and to rest of us. Even though he didn't need to. Then I said "I'll go to Mr. Washington he will help you for sure." He agreed and then we decided it was time to sleep. We cleaned up the cabin and I couldn't help but thinking this is all my fault.I need to make this better for him. I barely knew John I only knew him for a day but I felt like there was more, like I knew him my entire life. I fell asleep and woke up at around four in the morning. I found John he was sitting up and was holding a sketchbook. He was scribbling something onto the page. He was so god damn cute. He then put his head in his palms and muttered something inaudible and started tearing up lightly. I wondered what was going through his mind. I thought maybe I could ask Peggy. But that would be mean going through something personal that he obviously is embarrassed about. I thought maybe I could tell him a little bit about me and I can learn a little bit about him. He was still sobbing lightly I wanted to make him feel better. I got down from the top bunk. He looked across the room to see that the other top bunk was missing. "Alex?"he said I looked up at him and stared into his beautiful big brown eyes. They were red and puffy. I then asked "were you crying?" He didn't deny it. I climbed up onto his bed. I then pulled him into a hug. He then hid his sketchbook under his pillow. "Why are you hiding your sketchbook?" I asked. "I don't wanna talk about it." He said looking upset. "It wasn't fair of me to do what I did I am sorry I should have told you that I didn't want to talk about it." I said trying to cheer him up. He gave me a slight smile. "I am sorry you had to see all of that." He said looking at the floor " I can't control myself sometimes. Once it happened in school in a bathroom." He sighed and gulped back his words "I passed out because nobody knew I was there and after half an hour I was in an ambulance. My dad got so mad at me and I was grounded for two months." He said the last part quietly. "What about your mom?" I asked intrigued. He frowned and his hands started fidgeting. "She left. My dad always blamed me for it though." He said tears forming in his eyes "she used to talk with me all the time though and that made really happy. She got into a car crash three years ago and that's when I started hurting myself." He started crying again and I pulled him into a hug. "My mom died too." I said softly he looked into my eyes and hugged me back. "My dad left me, my brother and my mother when I was ten. My mom passed when I was 12. My brother died in a hurricane and my cousin committed suicide." Tears started forming in my eyes. "Then the Washington's adopted me when I was fourteen. I thought I would never find a family and now I have everything I've ever wanted." I didn't stop myself from crying. Our eyes met and I thought we were about to kiss. He piled out his sketchbook from underneath his pillow. He opened it up and showed me the drawing. "That's amazing!" I said shocked at how good it was. "It's my mom." He said softly. We talked a little and I ended up falling asleep cuddling him.I was proud of John and of myself death of someone you love is hard to talk about.

I have no idea if this made sense so sorry I am having a lot of fun writing this and I will be updating my other book soon thanks for reading:)