Find U

part 4

                                             -  PART FOUR -

 **Merry Christmas everybody .xx **

Louis POV:

I woke up this morning with that thought again, that I’ve to find him… , I started to pack down necessary things in a backpack, clothes, money and… the book..

Nothing could stop me now, I will find him, I will, I said to myself a few times… I couldn’t cope to be here all alone and being tortured with all these scenes, me and him… together…

I stood in the hall for a while, nothing I’ve forgotten…?

I lock the door and walks downstairs and outside, it’s cold and big clouds is covering the sky, where should I start?

I need more scenes… I walk on the sidewalk and sees a sign say ‘’Flowers’’… I walk inside the little shop.

Some roses is placed in a corner, white, pinks and reds… I pick up one of the red ones, feelings abounded me, my headache grew bigger and bigger…

It rains…. No surprise, I cross the street and walks into the library, he should be here… he had to…I haven’t seen him in over a week, when I’m going to bed he’s all I’m thinking about and when I wakes up he’s the one I think about… it’s weird… it really is… I have just seen him two times before and I’m obsessed of him… I’m unsure of myself, this week have been really emotional for me, I don’t know who I am anymore… my sexuality is a big question, I thought I was up to girls… why does I love this boy so much then… my heart beats hard in my chest when I can see him sitting hunched over a book, his curls is covering his face but there’s no question it’s him, this is the moment I’ve been waiting for the whole week, I’m going to ask for his name, maybe weird, maybe not, but it’s important to me, I want a name….I want a name to his beautiful face, I walk to him on weak legs, he turns around and smiles widely when he sees me, Hey, he says, I’m almost speechless, he’s so much more beautiful than I remember, Hi…, I say and smiles back.

So what’s your….,we say at the same time and laughs at each other, …name? I continue and he smiles big, Harry, he says and my heart melts, that name fitted him so well, What’s yours? He asks, Louis, I said and he nods, I like that name, he says, can I call you Lou? He asks still smiling, my smile grew even bigger, Yeh, you can call me Lou…, I said.

I massage my temples, the rose I held was now on the floor, I quickly picks it up and places it with the others again, I smile to myself, Harry…. his name was Harry…

I couldn’t stop repeating his name in my head, it was beautiful…perfect…

Harry, I said loudly just to feel the letters running over my tongue… a little girl gave me a weird look and walked away.

Okay, I knew his name…. but this can’t help me move on, to find him.

Wait… the library?? Now we’re talking…, I walks to the receptionist.

Where’s the closest library?? I asks.

Receptionist:

Hm… I think it’s just across the street, the brown old-fashioned building (She smiled brightly)

Louis POV:

Thanks miss, I say and walks out from the little shop.

It feels like the cold wind blows right through me, through every little gap in to my bare body.

It’s getting colder and darker, I cross the street and there it is, a brown old building, a big sign covers the top of it, Library.

I grab the golden handle and after a little struggling I can walk inside.

It’s big, it’s so big…. from the outside it was impossible to predict this kind of size.

All furnishing was in dark mahogany, quite similar to my apartment.

Then the thought hit me and my heart froze, what if Harry is here?

Is this even the right library?

Is this the one Harry went to?

I get the same feeling as I had in my scene, my legs felt weak and my heart started to slowly beat faster and faster, will I see him?

Right now?

Today?

Be able to touch him?

Look into his green eyes?

Will everything be the same again?

These thoughts were on repeat inside my head while I kept walking inside the big hall.

I took a deep breath when I realized that this was the library from the scenes, the library I always could find him in if he was nowhere else to be find.

Every little detail matched, it was weird I haven’t seen it earlier.

My heart dropped to my stomach when I saw the chair, the chair he used to sit on, hunched over a book, curls covering his face, his concerned look, his eyes moving from sentence to sentence, that little smile when something good happened and that sad but at the same time expressionless face when something sad happened.

I stood completely still and just looked at the empty chair, then I slowly started to walk against it, step by step, soon I was sitting on the chair, it felt wrong but at the same time good, he should be sitting here, not me.

I caressed the armrest, the dark mahogany one.

What if he sat here just some minutes ago?

Sat here and read his books.

I closed my eyes and swallowed hard, I felt the tears burning inside of my eyelids.

Why can’t he be here?

And hold me?

Tell me everything will be alright?

That he’ll never leave me?

Never letting me go?

I felt a hand on my shoulder, my heart skipped a beat and I opened my eyes.

Is it Harry?

Is he really here?

I smiled slightly and turned around, my heart dropped once again, that wasn’t Harry.

A old woman with big glasses looked down at me.

Old women:

Are you alright young man?

She asked with husky voice.

I just nodded and walked out from the library.

I stopped outside the building and looked around, what am I supposed to do now?

Wait… just wait, he should visit the library soon, I was sure.

I was shaking as the wind bite my skin but I didn’t cared right now, you can’t ever wait too long for something good you know.

He’ll come, I knew it.

I sat against the wall, my eyes searched for him, he’ll come, I told myself again.

The darkness fell so did the temperature; I couldn’t feel my feet anymore.

I looked up at the sky covered of small bright stars, I thought to myself, what if he just like me, looks at the sky right now?

We maybe looks at the same star?

The door next to me, to the library, went open and the old lady locked it and then leaved.

She jumped inside her little car and drove away then it went completely quiet.

I felt my eyelids weighed heavier and heavier, I couldn’t force them anymore, I let them fall and I thought one last time before I fell asleep, He will come.