Find U

part 2

                                                                         - PART TWO -

** Thanks for reading and comment, it means so much to me cause it takes a lot of work and time to write this, so I'm glad that someone likes it...you know :') x You're the best! <3 **

Louis POV:

I wake up and smiles by myself…. I don’t really know for what reason, I should be depressed instead, my parents are dead… DEAD, but I can’t get it into my head, but really… if I forgot everything of my past, I must be dumb…?

But the strange thing is that I remember how everything works… how to count and stuffs like that.., the only things I can’t remember are the memories, my childhood, friends, family, girlfriends…. I pauses for a while… or boyfriends..?

I mean that boy I can’t stop thinking about…?

Or did I had like a ‘’character’’ in my dream that was gay…. and I can’t like let it go now… in real life... that’s freaking scary…

I would probably say… I am gay, cause I’m in love with that boy… , I miss him so much…

I can feel my head hurt a little and I understand that I’ll be attacked with another scene

 It was a cold morning in January, the snow covered the usually grey London and everything shined bright, the Christmas decorations were still covering buildings, lampposts and trees.

It was silent, still and cold… but my right hand was warm, I looked up at him and he smiled, either me or him said anything, too afraid of breaking the silence, the only sound was our steps in the snow that creaked, a sound I loved.

 I get back again and the snow is gone, here I am in my white room again…. alone..

I turn to the dried rose, good morning Rosie, I say and can hear how ridiculous it sounds, why am I talking to this rose?

I must feel very alone…

Nurse:

(Walks inside) Hi Louis

Louis POV:

I quickly turn away from the rose, Hey…, I say

Nurse:

So we’ve done a few more tests and you’re actually really healthy, you’re very lucky.. it could have gone so bad …

Louis POV:

I guess so…, I say and then a question pops up in my head, who’s this rose from? I ask.

Nurse:

(Looks at it and shakes her head) Sorry, I have no idea…

Louis POV:

I Sigh, I’ll probably never find out… , the one who left it could have written ‘’from: Mr X’’ at least, even that would feel better than nothing…

***

 Louis POV:

Later, the same day I could go home, the nurse told me that I owned a apartment and I got the description where it was, I got all my personal stuffs with me and thanked all the nurses and doctors that been helping me through all this months.

I sit in the taxi and look out through the window while the city flies past, I’m feeling great right now, I’m actually going home… I had an own apartment and I felt so exited, all this months at the hospital and now I could go back, back to my life again.

It’s dark outside now and cold, I close the taxi door and walk towards my apartment, through the big red front door and up to the third floor were I could read ‘’ Louis. T ‘’ at the door, I smile and reach my key in my trouser pocket and turn the lock, a little ‘’click’’ is heard and the door slowly slides up, I walk inside and quickly take of my jacket and shoes, then I begin to take in every little detail in my ‘’old-new’’ home, The floor was in a darker colour of brown wood, the wallpapers were different in every room, a deeper colour of red in the bedroom, white in the living room and grey in the kitchen, everything looks a bit old-fashioned, I like it, the furnishings was all in soft mahogany wood, I feel the air was a bit heavy to breath in so I open a window and let the cold fresh air fill the room as I continue to examine my own apartment, A big bookshelf is covering one of the walls in my not too big living room, In the corner of the room a black leather sofa is placed in front of a pretty big flat screened TV, shit… I must have had a pretty god pay… or lived together with someone, cause this is not cheap stuffs… a little note catches my attention, three words is written with sloppy handwriting ;

I’m sorry Lou

I raise my eyebrows, well that said me much….

It’s impossible that I’ve written it…. but someone else maybe lived here with me?

I quickly walk into the bedroom and search my wardrobe for clues, but it’s just my own clothes I think…,  Okay who could have been in my apartment?

I get a bit panic but calm myself down by thinking; this note could be wrote before I went in the car accident, … why not?

I feel my headache coming back and I sits down at the bed with my face buried in my hands, the doctor said I should take it easy and try to be calm, I lie on the bed and look at the ceiling when the environment changes and I’m in a park instead.

 It’s a sunny day and I sit at a bench in the park eating my ice cream, a tall boy in my own age, maybe younger, walks past me and sits against a tree while packing up some books from his backpack, he starts to read them, he pulls some curls away from his eyes but they falls back again and he sighs loudly, then he looks up from his books for some seconds and stares right at me, I tried to do a poker face while I started to lick at my ice cream again, the only problem was that I did it in ‘’wrong’’ way and it could be mistaken for something else, I stopped and looked at the boy who smiled slightly while continue reading, I felt my cheeks blush

The environment turns back to my bedroom again and I feel my cheeks is blushing from the scene, okay that was really awkward…. but it was the boy again, the boy I loved… I always gets the same empty feeling when I returns from a scene like that, my body craves after his, the thought hits me once again, I must find him.

***(Next day)

 I woke up and turned to my boyfriend, he was still sleeping and his expressionless face looked beautiful, I carefully removed a curl from his eyes and he slowly opened them and smiled, that smile…. I’ll never get enough of that, I reaches his red lips with mine and kisses them, the kiss were soft and warm, I rolled over on him to lay at his stomach, he started to giggling like a newly in loved girl while he grabbed the back of my neck to pull me even closer…

Louis POV:

I wakes up and automatically turns to my left side… it was empty and the bed was cold, I lays my hand where he should lie and caress it, some tears falls down at my cheeks and I wipes them away with my quilt, the quilt I should share with him…

All this scenes with this boy… it can’t just be from a dream… , for me it feels so real, like I can touch it … but I can’t reach him… will I ever do that?

My whole body hurts without him, his skin against mine, his lips against mine and his arms holding me with a tight grip, his eyes looking at me and respond to my love, the warm feeling of knowing that he’s there, never leaving, never letting me down, just being there by my side and pushing our love forward, together staying strong… together making the best times of our lives… together keeping our love alive, like a wildfire that needs firewood, we need each other, we need each others support, most of all we needs to get back together, light that wildfire again and sit around it, feel the heat and watch it burn with a bright colour of red, look at each other and make our lives whole again, worth to live and worth to love.

Tears keeps falling down at my cheeks, I’ve never felt this empty since I woke up at that hospital, been told my parents were dead, it felt like the hole in my heart just grew bigger and bigger, the pain was awful, I just missed him so much….