Find U

part 8

- PART EIGHT -

** Bad updating, yeah that's me.... sorry guys, I'm doing my best and I love you all, thanks for being so patience and sorry is this part if a bit boring.. .xxx**

 Birds twitter and I can feel how the sun burns my skin, slowly I open my eyes, everything is so beautiful.

Green and flourishing.

 My stomach purrs loudly, I need to eat but my money maybe isn’t enough…

I reach after my bag behind me but there’s nothing there, I quickly turn around, it’s gone.

Oh no, I think to myself, of course a bastard stole it… well there wasn’t much inside of the bag so he won’t get much richer… but the book… the only thing I owned that proves Harry really exists…

I can feel my heart turning heavier, this can’t be true…

I get that hopeless feeling I’ve felt before, I hate it….. He’s somewhere here, I know it.. I just know… Tears escapes from my eyes and rolls down my cheeks, Harry would never get his book back… and that’s my fucking fault… it sounds ridiculous, I know but it’s not just a book…. it’s his favourite one… sure I can maybe buy him a new but IT’S NOT THE SAME… that book were the whole reason that we kept meeting each other and the reason we fell in love… that book means so much to me, us.

I keep crying my eyes out, I’m just so tired, hungry and … alone.

I will never meet him, right?

 All this were just in vain, everything… I’m just a crazy boy searching for something I’ll never find, what if I’m still in coma?

What if all this is just a fucking dream?

Maybe I’ll never wake up, maybe Harry’s right now sitting by my side at the hospital, holding my hand, caressing it.

The doctors have told him the truth, I won’t wake up, I never will.

He’s just sitting there taking a last farewell, tears in his eyes, I had promised him to come back right?

Yes I had, but I never did.

He places a rose by side, a red rose.

He looks at it and then at me, he knows we won’t be together for a while but he knows he’ll meet me in heaven, yet I’m not there but he’ll leave before I take my last breath.

He doesn’t want to see me die, the one who promised to never leave, the only one he had, he doesn’t want to watch as the promise breaks, the promise he had chosen to believe in cause he believed in me.

He will punish himself cause he let me go on that road trip even if nothing’s his fault, he will lie in his bed around midnight, sleepless, crying cause I’ll be gone soon but hoping I won’t.

He will never stop to hope, he will never really forget about me, he will remember, remember all the things we’ve done, like I do know.

I keeps crying and crying, more and more convinced all this actually never happened in real life, except Harry, I’m probably still at the hospital bed with a beeping EKG machine.

I touch the grass and it feels so real, but maybe that’s how it feels when you’re in coma 'cause there the dreams feels like reality.

I crawl to the river too weak and exhausted to stand up right now, I look down at the water, so clear and so blue.

How can this not be real?

Is it real?

My head hurts of all these thoughts so I stick it into the water, the wet cold water surrounds my head, I open my eyes and just look in to the blue clearness, suddenly I can feel a hand grabbing my shoulder and pulling me up.