Unruly One

Simula

SIMULA

Naghiyawan ang mga nakapalibot sa akin when I made a sultry dance moves, grinding my butt and just swayed my hips fluidly. I removed my crochet cover up, then flaunts my red strings bikini.

"Woah!"

The foreign guys whistled and joined me after getting stunned by my dance. Someone handed me a shot na tinanggap ko at ininom sa isang lagok lang. May nagpasabog ng inalog na inumin sa bottle. Ginaya na rin ng iba ang ginawa kong pagsasayaw.

Blinding strobe lights, booming electronic music from the giant speakers, the smoke on the sides, the suds floating above like clouds that eventually fall to the ground, the salty air, and the wild crowd screams freedom. Problem free.

This is our last night here. Bukas babalik na kami ng Manila. I will go to work again, save up a bit and then party harder. If I have a bottomless well of wealth, I will probably stay in this island forever just partying. Maybe I should find myself a filthy rich man and marry him then?

I smirked. Kung maririnig ito ng mga magulang ko at ng grandparents ko, tiyak sermon ang aabutin ko. They would even go further as sending me to a retreat camp or enroll me in spiritual programs to cleanse my wild soul.

My parents never liked the idea of me being away from them knowing my devil-may-care attitude. Maybe because I am their only child? And they think I'll screw up myself and my whole life? Even so, they could not stop me, kapalit nga lang no'n ay ang pagiging independente ko. I have to work on my own. No more spoiling from them na kinalakihan ko.

Alam ko naman na marami ang hindi sang-ayon sa mga pinaniniwalaan ko sa buhay. But what can I say? This is what I meant by living life to the fullest. Less complications, just lots of fun. Tons of fun. We should always pursue what makes us happy. While we contemplate on things, we are losing time. When it's no, it should be no. When it's yes, it should be yes. No in betweens. You want it? Then go for it. After all, we only live once. We all die in the end.

I exited the dance floor and took a rest. Namamaos na ako at nanlalagkit na dahil sa bubbles do'n. Masyado na ring maraming agresibong lasing.

"Nagugutom ako, parang gusto kong kumain..." Ginala ko ang paningin. "Ng businessman."

"Gaga!"

I laughed and shook my head. Umiling ako nang inabutan ako ng panibagong shot. Hindi pa naman ako lasing, just a bit tipsy. Ang aga pa but I think I already had enough. Na-bo-bored ako dahil wala namang planong sumayaw ang mga kasama ko. They are not even drinking much. Probably got fed up sa gabi-gabing party at inuman.

We talked, kung anu-ano lang ang napag-uusapan. Wala naman akong makitang puwedeng landiin. I ignored the guys I met the other night too kaya...

Nagugutom rin ako. I only ate salad bago kami tumuloy dito. I also cannot recall kung may matinong kain ba ako ngayong araw na 'to.

I stood up. Tinaasan naman ako ng kilay nina Janina at Roxanne na mga katabi ko. I wish my friend Giunardo is here. We have the same spirit kaya tuwing magkasama kami para kaming mga pinakawalan sa hawla. We are both wild party animals. Ang isa ko namang kaibigan, mukhang wala ng balak na iwan ang mga bulubundukin. Both of them are minding their own career, same as me—career in hardcore partying and slutting.

"Where are you going?" si Jerson na bagong kilala lang.

"Find someone to eat."

They dramatically rolled their eyes at me. Ngumisi ako.

"Kakain lang ako."

"After getting drunk saka mo lang naisipang kumain?"

Nagkibit-balikat ako. Hindi naman ako gano'n kadaling malasing. I am still sane. I just don't feel their company now. Sinabi ko na lang sa kanilang babalikan ko sila o kapag hindi ako nakabalik, I will text them, na nauna na ako sa hotel. Iniwan ko na sila. Hindi ko naman talaga alam saan ako pupunta sa totoo lang.