Shy Whispers || Michael Clifford

13

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Chapter 13

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As soon as Michael sits down at our table, I pull out the bag of sour skittles that I bought last night and place it in front of both of us. He sends me a smile and takes a couple in his hand as he sits down.

"So I noticed that we don't know much about each other," I say to him, eating my own green candy.

"Yeah I guess not. So what's your favorite color?" he asks me.

"Probably yellow. I love the sunshine and dandelions," I explain, eating another candy. "You?"

"Black, definitely."

I chuckle and look at his outfit. It was all black. Of course. I really love it when he wears his black skinny jeans. They just look so good on him.

"Favorite movie? Mine is probably Harry Potter," I say and let a laugh escape my lips when his eyes widen.

"I love Harry Potter!" God, he's such a dork. "Favorite movie?"

"Well first of all, the books are better." I laugh at his 'duh' expression and continue, "but probably the fifth one."

"Yeah, I would say the third one for me. The second one was terrible. The movie, I mean."

"Ew god, yeah that sucked!" I exclaim and laugh. "Alright fav-"

"Hey it's my turn!" he whines, sticking out his bottom lip like a child.

I reach over and boop his nose before chuckling at his amused expression. He just looked so cute, I couldn't help it, alright?

"Okay favorite subject?"

"Definitely lunch," I answer immediately.

"Because of me, right?"

"Yeah, sure. Keep believing that, Clifford."

He chuckles at me and takes a bite of his sandwich, offering me some. I shake my head and drink some of my water.

"Music. That's pretty obvious though."

"When are you going to sing to me?" I ask him, leaning my chin on my fist.

"Someday." he answers, sending me that award-winning smile.

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We've been going back and forth, asking each other questions, for a while now. I had turned off my phone a couple minutes after we started so that I wouldn't be distracted from Michael. The skittles in the middle of the table were gone, and we were just snacking on Michael's left-over pretzels.

"Do you mind if I ask you something kind of personal?" Michael says out of nowhere, staring deep into my eyes. I nod slowly, slightly afraid of what was to come next.

"Why don't you eat. And be honest, CeCe."

I take a deep breath and put the pretzel I was holding down on the cold table. I guess this was going to come up eventually. And you know what? I trust Michael.

"I don't know if you ever even noticed me back in middle school, but I was kind of chubby," I begin and look up at Michael. His gaze is fixed on me like he's concentrated on something. He nods towards me, egging me to go on.

"So I decided that I had to lose weight. To me, the only solution was starvation. Julia was actually going through the same thing when she was in high school so we helped each other out. It got worse when Julia left for college. I tried to stop, but I just couldn't. It was like my body was refusing to do what's right and I was just spiraling into hell. It also didn't help when my mom started getting .. Physical." I say, my voice straining.

Michael reaches out across the table and grabs my hand, entwining out fingers together. He smiles softly at me and rubs small circles on the back of my hand with his thumb.

"She would come home drunk and.. and slap me." When I say those words, I see Michael immediately flinch.

"I didn't know what to do. Julia was at college and my dad was long gone. Add that to the fact that my only friend betrayed me and everyone in school thought I was an anorexic freak, it's pretty obvious why I'm so messed up. I guess I've gotten used to it though."

"Fuck, Cecelia," Michael whispers, "I had no idea you were going through so much."

"Yeah, but people have been nicer to me since I met you," I say, placing my hand on top of our already-entwined hands. I see a smile begin to grow on his face.

"I've also gained two and a half pounds and I've been clean for two weeks."

Michael lets out a surprised gasp and his face lights up.

"I don't even know why you're doing this. I don't know what I did to deserve you-"

"Because I like you, Cecelia," he says and lets out a long sigh.

"Well yeah, bu-"

"No, CeCe, you don't get it. I like you."

My heart stops beating in my chest. I look back and forth between his eyes expecting him to burst out laughing or maybe even get up and leave, saying this was all a joke. That the whole thing was fake.

But he doesn't.

He takes his free hand and rubs the back of his neck. His mouth opens and closes as he tries to think of something to say next.

As for me, I'm completely frozen. So Michael does like me. But why? How? I mean yeah, he said he was jealous, but I assumed that he was kidding. That he was just joking. Is that why he hates Luke so much? Because of me? A million questions swirl around in my head.

"But I know you like Luke so.." he finally says and removes his hands from mine.

My hands are instantly met with the cold of the outside world and I have to admit it, I miss his touch.

"So just forget I said that. I don't want to ruin our friendship."

I know I should say something. Anything. But I can't.

He gives me one last sad smile before grabbing our trash and standing up, making his way to the front of the room.

I look around the cafeteria while taking in a shaky breath. My eyes land on Luke in his usual spot. His eyes are fixed on me. I can't read his expression, but I know that he just saw everything that just happened.

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A/N~ Good afternoon! DOUBLE UPDATE BAM!

I actually have been really motivated lately and I've planned out at least the next 5 chapters so make sure to stay tuned!