Metanoia // George Ezra Fanfic

Turn to Ash

~George POV~

I can't begin to express what I feel as I stare at the remnants of my home. The outside of the gray, brick building is charred from where flames scarred their surface. The ground surrounding the staircases is black, covered in ash and dust. 

Everly is by my side, and she slides her hand into mine softly, "You alright, George?"

I am not alright. I can't explain to her the thoughts racing through my mind as I watched people, young and old, mill around the apartment, completely unsure what to do with themselves. Where would they go? Where would I go? Miguel has already messaged me to let me know that he is crashing with a friend a few blocks away.

It is also impossible for me to express to Everly what had been going through my mind all weekend. Ollie's words have been bothering me more than I let on. Are there red flags that I am ignoring because I am so consumed by the thought of Everly? Is this healthy?

Everly pats my shoulder in a comforting way, "Let's come back in the morning, when things have settled down. You can stay at my apartment."

    ~    ~    ~    ~

I sit on the brown couch in Everly's apartment, surrounded by her things. It makes me very self-aware that all I have is what I brought with me while we were camping. My only remaining possessions could be carried in a backpack. Everly's things are nice, unlike mine were. None of them really matched each other, but they are comfortable and clean. She's gone to a lot of effort to make sure that anytime she bought her second-hand furniture that it would last for a long time.

From the kitchen, Everly says, "I'm glad that I went grocery shopping before our trip, otherwise we wouldn't have anything to eat tonight. I'm gonna make a breakfast casserole. Does that sound good to you?"

For a moment I don't answer, but when Everly looks over at me concerned, I nod, "Yeah. Sounds good."

She continues moving around the kitchen, putting eggs and sausage in a pan. After a few minutes, she sticks the casserole into the oven and makes her way over to the couch, taking the place beside me. 

"George, do you need to talk?"

I shrug, "There's not much to talk about, is there? Nothing we can do about it. I think it's just still sinking in. I'll be okay."

She nods slowly, her blue-green eyes trying to search my face, "I'm always here for you, if you need me."

"Thanks." 

She bites her lower lip, looking a little conflicted for a moment, but she continues, "George, there's something I have wanted to talk with you about for a while now. I don't know if now is the right time or not, but I also don't know if there ever really is a right time."

I look over at her expectantly.

"I'm not good with feelings," she states simply. "And you met me during a time of my life that was really chaotic. But, in the middle of all the chaos that was my mind, there was you. And you helped anchor me and kept me strong, which you have no idea how meaningful that was to me. I feel like there is obviously something romantic going on between us. Something beyond friendship. At least, speaking for myself, I do really care about you. I was wondering if you felt the same way?"

This is the conversation I was avoiding all weekend. The one I knew had to come up, but I had been dreading it. I wasn't sure what I should feel for Everly anymore. I didn't even know how to identify what I was feeling tonight.

"Darling," I start, "you're not imagining what has been going on between us..."

A wide smile crosses Everly's face, "So, you do like me?"

It's my turn to bite my lower lip as I mutter, "I don't think this is a good idea. You and I. I think...I think we should take a pause."

Her face falls as immediately as it lit up, "What? What do you mean?"

"I mean, maybe we should pause this romantic thing that is going on between us."

She frowns, "George, how do you pause something that never truly started?"

I scratch the back of my neck, the dumb, nervous tick that I'd had for as long as I could remember, "I mean, I think the two of us continuing the way we have been going would be a bad idea. We've been moving quickly, Everly, and you just got out of a serious relationship three months ago. I mean, do you really want to get into another relationship so soon?"

She looks taken aback, and I can see tears swimming in her eyes, "George, what are you talking about? None of that has bothered you before. Where is this coming from?"

"Just because I haven't said anything before now doesn't mean I wasn't thinking about it."

Everly scowls, "Then why on earth have you let it go on this long? Why have you been acting like things have been fine, and leading me on this whole time?"

I look away, hating the look she is giving me. The truth was that if Ollie hadn't said anything to me before he left last week, that this conversation would probably be going in a completely different direction. I hated that she thought I had been leading her on. But what was I supposed to do? Tell her that Ollie had pointed out some red flags to me and now I was having doubts?

"I don't know." I shrug.

"Would it really be so horrible if you and I were more than just friends?" Everly says, trying to grab my hand, but I pull away.

"It wouldn't be horrible." I say, gazing back at her intensely, "I can't lie to you and tell you that I don't feel for you. But I also can't take advantage of where your head is at right now. I care about your emotions more than I care about mine."

"That is bullshit, George, and you know it!" She says angrily, "I am fine! What's going on with you, though? This has come out of nowhere!"

"I think we could be something more one day." I say to her, trying to keep my voice void of emotion, "I just think that you should have more time to find yourself after Samson."

She stares at me in disbelief, "So that's it? You're just going to throw away the past three months. You're going to forget everything we have been through. You're going to forget me."

"Everly -"

The timer starts going off in the kitchen for the casserole to come out. Sniffing a little, Everly swiftly gets of the couch and stomps into the kitchen. Turning off the timer, I can see angry tears have started spilling down her cheeks. She pulls the casserole from the oven and slams it down on the counter. 

For a moment, I think she's going to come back and sit with me. However, she strides towards her room, pausing in the doorway to look back at me and announce, "You can sleep in Larisa's old room tonight. The bed is already made. Goodnight."

She slams her bedroom door. 

I sit on the couch, wondering to myself if that conversation could have gone any worse. Feeling sorry for myself isn't something that usually happens, but right now, I am positively miserable.

Everly was wrong about one thing, though. 

I could never forget Everly, even if I tried. 

The whole world would have to turn to ash before I forgot Everly. 

A/N:

Hello, everyone!

I hope your week has been great!

Personally, I haven't had a great couple weeks. I found out that my Mother was diagnosed with cancer a while ago, and I've been pretty dang moody and depressed. Anyways, if you guys could send good thoughts into the ether/ prayers to whatever deity you believe in, that would be pretty nice.  

My Mom may have cancer, but at least I still have memes and Netflix.

Please remember to vote, comment, and share this story! It would mean the world to me, and it's honestly so uplifting to know when people enjoy what you work so hard on. 

Have a lovely day!

-Sunny