Metanoia // George Ezra Fanfic

Little Smiles

Negative.

It's what the tests said every time.

A second pink line never showed.

After a year, I started to relate with that little pink line every time the tests turned up negative. One pink line, and I was all alone in the bathroom, feeling disappointed again.

We've been married for nineteen months. Over a year and a half of our newly-wed bliss. After seven months of trying and failing to conceive, I went to the doctor, thinking that something had to be wrong. My doctor told me not to worry.

"It can take couples up to a year, or even longer to get pregnant." She said, giving me an understanding nod, "After a year of actively trying, come back to see me. Then we'll talk about what steps you might want to take next."

It was officially a year. One year of trying to have a baby.

I toss the negative pregnancy test into the trash bin, feeling my throat close up and my eyes start to sting.

Why can't I get pregnant?

What is wrong with me?

George knocks on the door lightly, saying softly, "Everly? Are you okay in there?"

"Yes." I sniffle, wiping my eyes a bit, "Having a moment."

"Can I come in?"

"I suppose."

The bathroom door creaks open, and he looks at my upset face. Understanding dawns upon him and he wraps me in his arms. Whispering, he strokes my hair while I have a good cry, "It's all right, sweetheart. It just...can take time for some people. Just means our baby will be extra special."

I hope he is right.

*      *      *      *      *

I wasn't able to get an appointment to see my doctor until a week and a half later. She made it very clear that what George said was right - sometimes these things just take time. Which is fine for some people, but I want a baby now. I don't want this to take time.

"We'll start with some tests, Mrs. Barnett." She explained, "Then we'll be able to tell you what is going on. The results should come back in a week."

When I get a call a week later from a nurse, I know things aren't going to be good.

"Is something wrong?" I ask, feeling a little hysterical.

"Doctor will go over everything with you." The nurse continues in a careful, patient voice, "She has recommended that you bring your husband with you, so she can tell you both."

"Can I come in today?"

"Well, doctor is very busy today-"

"Please." I beg, "Please, I need to speak with her. If I don't...I'll go crazy. I can't wait."

The nurse pauses, then says, "All right. Could you be here at 5:30? She should be able to fit in a quick visit before she goes home for the day."

George and I arrive early. The waiting room is empty and the nurses are tidying up the office so they can leave for the day. Maybe I should have waited. It is terrible of me to keep them from going home to their families after a long day. George looks uncomfortable and nervous. He hasn't ever been to the OBGYN with me.

We're taken to the doctor's office in the back of the clinic. She greets us a few minutes later. Her face is a mask of cheerfulness, but when I look into her eyes, I can tell something is wrong. She hates this conversation already.