Poetry

Help..

I sit there

Guiding my loves out of the dark 

Into the light of life

I hold their hand and tell them to stay alive

I do this over and over again

But who is there when I'm in the dark?

Who is there when I am alone?

Who is there when I am dying?

There will be no mourning for me

There will be no flowers on my grave

There will be no one there for me when I need help

I sacrifice everything for them

My education

My mental health

My happiness

And I am left to die 

There is no light at the end of my tunnel

So I help others

Hoping to catch a glimpse of it

I try with everything I have left

But they only see my downfall

I try to take care of myself 

And I get called selfish

I don't know how to act or behave

I don't know what to do to be who they want 

I act like I am untouchable

Like I am alright and not tormented

With guilt and regret every waking moment

So when I fall

All they see is me doing it for attention

I give everything away

And die slowly with a smile

And no one cries

No one helps

I go to hospitals and facilities

Trying to get better

But I am guilty

There is no rest for the guilty

Everything I do is a cry for help

But it is seen as attention seeking

I need someone to be my rock

I need someone to be there when others aren't

I need someone to try to help me

I need someone to watch over my shoulder while I take my medicine

I need someone to help clear a path through my tunnel