[🎧: Always Been You - Shawn Mendez]
📎 "Let's just forget about it."
I know these words both left our lips, but I can't. I have tried to for many weeks and months and years. Turns out I can't. I just can't.
Maybe because I have all these regrets inside of me. The what ifs haven't completely vacated their space in my heart. There was always going to be you in me. As long as my memories of you and us are still intact and living—swaying about—in my mind, you are always going to be a constant in my train of thoughts.
There were "distractions" along the way, sure, but your spirit weren't in any of them. None of them had glossy eyes that could pierce through the walls in my heart like yours. None of them could drown out all the backgroud noise through a hug. None of them could give me the same joy that I had when I was with you. None of them.
So the line was a fake one. I can't just forget about it because, well, how does one forget about their first love? How does one forget all of you? You are always gonna cross my mind, every now and then.
You are a recurring thought. It has always been you.
———
MEMORIES
I am not sure what I want to happen whenever I replay your memories in my mind. It's crazy how after all the years gone by, these memories still make me feel the same. You still give me the butterflies even through the tiniest, shortest thought of you. What I would give to relive the moments with you!
MAYBE
It has been years since we last met and these feelings I have for you are still growing. I'm probably only loving you in my memories. I'm probably only in love with the version of you in the past. I'm probably the only one holding on to the hope that maybe, you too, are feeling the same way.
— C l a n d e s t i n e
YOU ARE READING
All My Lies
RandomThis is really just a record of all the lies I regret telling, showing, and believing; all the lies that have hurt both of us and our bond; all the lies and what I really meant to say or do for you. Really, I was just writing away the regret of lett...
