bucky barnes imagines

vii. because I love you.

   (rewritten)
sad beautiful tragic — taylor swift

You know somethings up with Bucky, his behaviour off and at the point where he's just completely ignoring everything.

Everyone at compound always says to leave Bucky alone when he gets like this, because it's "more stressful" for him and he "needs space."

But it's never going to stop, these days he has until
someone finally steps up and helps him. Maybe he does want to be alone, and needs space.

But you highly doubt it. Behind the attitude, he genuinely needs someone and doesn't know how to ask.

And you can't stand to continue leaving him when he gets like this. Trapped in his own thoughts— you don't even want to think about it.

You're already on your way to his room. If this is the wrong choice then... there's no plan b. But, what's you without making a couple bad choices?

   You knock on the closed door of his room. A couple times after that. A few minutes later, you give up and walk right in.

He's sitting on his bed, but when he notices you he lifts his head from his hands, looking up with distressed eyes. His rooms a mess, clothes piling up on the floor and his bed not made. "Y/N, what are you doing here?" he says and starts to get up from the bed.

Your heart aches when you see his state, his red rimmed eyes, looking like he hasn't slept in days. "Bucky I—" you start. "I came to see if I can help you, or even ask if you wanted to talk."

"You can't help me. And I don't want to talk," He approches you, as if trying to hide the state of his room.

"Bucky please. You shouldn't be alone like this." You walk past him, starting to pick up the trash scattered on the floor.

"Stop, just leave this alone, leave me—" he stops himself.

He runs a hand through his hair. "I'm fine. Just— just please, go, I can handle this myself, I always have and I—"

"But that's the thing, Bucky, you don't have to do this alone, i'm here for you. Just because before you had no one doesn't mean it still has to be like that. You deserve someone you can go to. Let me help you. Talk to me, or don't, I don't know just tell me what I can do."

You're words are abrupt and as desperate as they sound. You look him in the eyes as all the walls he's been putting up for so long begin to crumble.

"Y/N I," he starts, but can't find the words. You walk closer to him, looking up at his figure. "What can I do?" Tell me."

His brows furrow, fighting back the silver beginning to rim his eyes. "Just hold me."

You didn't hesitate before pulling him in, wrapping your arms around his body. The words were so vulnerable, and you were so relieved. Relived that he even said anything.

You held him close as he cried, letting all that's been bottled up out. You slid your hand up and down his back in comforting strokes, never letting go.

"Why do you care?" he whispered suddenly. You closed your eyes, letting the tears fall. "Why?" he asked again.

"Because I love you Bucky." You didn't care anymore, the words you've also been keeping in for so long came pouring out, and you're surprised you didn't even hesitate.

You pull away a little so that you can hold his face in your hands. "I love you." You wiped the tears from his cheeks, "So much."

He pulled you back in, clutching you in his arms. "Fuck Y/N," he said into your neck, and you smiled slightly. "What did I do to deserve you?"

"Everything."

Now it was his turn to hold your face in his hands. "I love you too," he said, and his words meant so much to you.

You smiled sadly at the man you loved, his past haunting him and never giving him a break. It didn't define him, but it certainly wasn't something to dismiss either.

You loved him for everything he thought he didn't have, or wasn't capable of doing.