When It Begins Again

3

Jewel took Kim's words to heart with her all week, even as she stood in her kitchen on Thursday night baking cupcakes with her fifteen year old.

Dance had taken Mya out and after a bath and dinner, she'd knocked right out, which gave her time to spend some time with her big boy.

She watched as he cracked the eggs into the bowl and added vanilla extract and milk, combining the three together.

"So your father told me about your request for your birthday."

She brought up as he stared at her.

"Are you mad?"

She could see the concern in her son's eyes and she hated that he felt like going to one parent meant the other would be upset.

Jewel shook her head.

"I'm not mad. But Jes, I don't want you or your sister to feel like you can't talk to your father and I together. We're still..."

Jewel couldn't finish that sentence.

Were they really still a family?

She had not been to a basketball game since the separation but she knew her kids were always present.

It had become a topic on social media that Carlos' PR team was constantly dealing with. They didn't want anything out until confirmation was given.

Jewel felt like everyone was waiting on her to decide the faith of her marriage and that weight stifled her.

Jeston stared at the mixture in front of him.

"Are you going to divorce dad?"

Jewel stared at her son as she shrugged her shoulders.

"I wish I could give you a definite answer, but I don't know."

Jewel sighed.

"This situation sucks."

Jeston confessed.

"I know dad messed up. He's wrong but..."

Jeston's eyes welled with tears.

"I miss our family."

Jewel stopped mixing her own mixture as she stared at her son, her own heart aching.

She missed their family as well.

Jewel walked towards her son, wrapping her arms around him.

"I miss our family too. We're still a family, it just looks different now."

"This different sucks."

Jeston admitted.

"And it's not to make you feel guilty or anything. I understand, but Mya and I hate jumping from house to house."

Jewel gulped.

Now would be a better time than never to tell her oldest about the decision she'd made.