When It Begins Again

17

Ryan took a seat, his eyes roaming the home she'd purchased.

"It's nice."

He complimented as Jewel nodded.

"Thank you. Would you like something to drink?"

Ryan shook his head.

"How are you? I can't imagine what you're feeling right now."

A sigh escaped Jewel's lips as she took a seat across from the man.

"Honestly like crap. I feel like a lot is just happening, one after the next and I'm barely holding on."

She confessed.

"And Carlos?"

"Still unconscious."

She replied as Ryan stared at her.

"I heard about Kim as well. Is she..."

"Trying her best to hold herself together."

Jewel said cutting him off. Ryan usually wasn't someone that beat around the bush, so why was he now.

"Ryan why are you here?"

She questioned, ready to deal with this situation she had put off for months.

"You kissed me Jewel. You came to me and you separated from your husband and then you ghost me. You stop coming to Jeston's practice and I start seeing Carlos more than you."

She could see the hurt written across his face.

"I know my timing sucks but I know you and I know Carlos being in a coma is bringing back feelings but he cheated on you. Don't forget that."

"I know!"

Jewel's voice rose as she stared at Ryan in disbelief.

All this was to remind her of how Carlos wasn't good enough for her?

"You think I don't know that? You think it's easy to just pack up eighteen years of marriage and sign my name on the dotted line because of infidelity."

"I'm not saying it's easy."

He retorted.

"Then what are you saying?"

Jewel snapped as her fingers pressed against the bridge of her nose.

"I'm sorry. I've had a rough couple of days and you don't deserve the aggression, but Ryan..."

Her eyes filled.

"I can't help who I love. Even before all of this, when I closed my eyes I saw Carlos. Each night I slept alone in our bedroom, I wanted him there with his arms wrapped around me. I don't know how to unlove him or love him any less after he basically sacrificed himself for our child."

She wiped at the stray tears.

These past couple of days had been filled with nothing but tears and sadness and Jewel just wanted it to go away.

"I didn't ghost you because I don't care. I ghosted you because I care Ry. You deserve someone that's all about you. Not with her heart longing for her husband while she's lying under you."

A sigh escaped his lips as he got to his feet.

"Jewel all I ever wanted was for you to be happy, even if that's not with me."

He pressed his lips against her forehead.

"Also I did some digging when you both called last that might be beneficial to you."