Axelle | My perfect life

9 2 7

by thebridgesociety

by thebridgesociety

Author: 123sharmatannu

Reviewer: ItsmeAxelle_

Chapters reviewed: 5

--------------
I am extremely sorry for the delay, had a bunch of exams and tests but tried to deliver a good review, hope you find it helpful!!💕

Cover and title :

I feel the title was a tad bit common but since it is really apt for your storyline I would not change a thing! The cover, however needs some changes. The tagline that you have used tho, the really long paragraph in the cover has to be removed as its barely seen, and also its mentioned in the blurb!
You can also increase the size of your name on the cover!
I liked the image used, other wise its a very pretty cover💖

Blurb :

Your blurb's first paragraph is very long, and quite frankly not necessary at all! You can shorten the blurb to make it sound more interesting and relatable! There are a few issues with the grammar of the blurb, and with the flow. I feel you could have described this situation in a better way, in a more polished way, I would add.

Plotline :

I have to be honest here. A storyline where the girl first is with the shady guy, then finds her soulmate is a little cliche but the good part is your humour is crazy awesome😄💖, which makes me really interested to read the entire story. But I would definitely point out that the way the story progresses, it seems a little lacking in descriptions and proper connect to the audience! Like, when Alia was describing her Prince charming, I don't know how her room looks, how she was actually feeling other than the fact that she wanted a Prince.
Small details and plot holes really could make the story well rounded!♥️

Grammar and technicalities :

Excluding the first chapter, the grammar was really off for me in other places! You could always term and phrase your words in a better way!

For example,

"After talking to my mom, 15 minutes had already passed."

could be

"15 minutes seem to fly by as I conversed with my mom. Now I was definitely going to be late!"

Did you make out the difference? Often at places I felt your story felt more like a messy monologue of Alia and not an engaging narrative so please do work on that!💙

Characters :

Quite honestly, your characters could have better descriptions! Terming the 2 main male characters as Casanova really didn't give me insight of they are! Descriptions need to be worded well, with little to no revelation of the role they're playing in the story, with no much detailing on their lifestyle, but rather on their character and some weird quirk about them!
Or you could just omit words and make character aesthetics for them!

I'll tag some books here, you could check out the character descriptions as well as character aesthetics!

Forbidden Act - First chapter 'characters' by amour-seraph

Sushi and Sea lions - Read the blurb, the way the characters are described will you an idea of what I am trying to convey!💕 by RCorsini

Final words :

I have to say, its a really good book and has a lot of potential!❤
I wish you all the best for this book, work hard and take care on the small details, they go a long way!!
And please do not take my words in a negative way, a lot of reviewers often have conflicting opinions so if someone else's suggestions clashes with mine, do what you feel is best! After all, it's your brain child book!♥️

-----

Here was your review!
Hope you found it helpful!

Signing off,
Axelle.