haikyuu oneshots

to be in love: oikawa tooru

wait fuck sorry i forgot to post this on vday

  "being in love isn't easy," he says, voice down to a whisper. his lips form a gentle smile as his eyes look into yours from the side.

"it's not being in love that's the hardest," you reply, bending over to cross your arms on the bridge railing above the pond, "it's falling out of love."

"then isn't that what we're doing now?" he sighs, a melancholic weight behind his words. his eyes shift away from you and direct themselves to the waters below him.

your eyes following his, you sigh right after.

"i haven't fallen out of love with you."

his head slowly rotates back to face you, "is that so?"

oikawa wasn't one to sit down and talk serious with you, but if he wanted to, he would do it to an elevated extent. as if sentimentality hadn't gotten the best of the both of you yet, you ask him yet again, "most definitely, but have you?"

his body slouches down and his head rests in his arms, saying, "i haven't either."

the both of you stand in a despondent silence. to be hopeful was lawful, but to be hopeful wasn't rational.

he breathes, impaling the apparent state of grace.

"i apologise if you misunderstood. we haven't fallen completely out of love, we're merely in the process of falling out of it."

  "i understand, trust me," your voice escapes in passionately sorrowful cracks, "but why?"

  right, but why?

  you'd have thought you'd met satan himself in the form of the oblivion he had tossed you into. but are such levels of ignorance bliss? can ignorance be bliss?

  a truly philosophical discussion, he would theoretically argue, his eyes lighting up.

  perhaps ignorance could be bliss, but was your love then... ignorance?

  if he was a magician, was this misdirection?

  wasn't it excruciatingly painful to be tossed into oblivion? to be tossed into delusion? to be tossed into ignorance?

  were you ignorant?

  ambiguity.

  ambiguity drove this oblivion.

  was it miscommunication or complete lack thereof? the love you held was fragile, it was pliable, it was volatile.

  such levels of instability weren't condoned, but such levels of instability were apparent.

  gently pushing himself off the railing and walking away, he says, "i don't know exactly, and it's not like i want to fall out of love with you. we're simply not in our 'honeymoon' anymore, and to what extent, really, can we avoid all the obstacles being splattered in our faces?"

  "but i'd love for us to fall in love again."

  he turns back and stops for a while, smiling wistfully, "i'm glad the feeling is mutual."

  as your feet take off and follow closely behind him, silence falls. silence between lovers, embellished by the gentle wind caressing both your faces much like the both of you once did.

  state of grace.

  "why did we hold on when we were bound to fall apart?"

  he looks over at the sound of your unanticipated comment.

  his hands in his pockets, his head down, his mouth forming a grin, he replies, "we hoped."

  and he was right. to be driven by hope, this love would have never fallen apart. the incessant voices in your head seemed to clear for a moment; to be in love with oikawa tooru was to not fall apart.

  as the both of your footsteps tread further and further into the vast greenery in front of you, a state of nirvana seemed to be achieved. while you breathe, do you hope? 

  such an impeccable, such an immaculate state could not be ignored, could it? peaceful as it was, unrecognisable as it was, as reminiscent of melancholic sorrow it was, to be in love with oikawa tooru was to hope.

  as golden rays dance off his skin, you wonder, how did you fall in love with this man? how was reciprocation... possible?

  falling in love isn't easy, and falling out of it isn't either. to be in love is to hope. to be in love is to try.

  falling in love isn't easy, and staying in love isn't either. to stay in love is to hold on. to stay in love is to hold on tightly.

  you turn to oikawa tooru, your hand slipping into his in an inherently spontaneous manner.

  "i'm elated."

  to be in love is to hope.

  "so am i."

  and he delivered such.

  "i haven't fallen out of love with you."

  to be in love is to hold on.

  "happy valentine's day, i love you (y/n)."

  and didn't you?