haikyuu oneshots

with regards to love: tsukishima kei

a love letter from tsukishima

—

regarding "love", i wouldn't consider myself to understand it fully, or even a little bit.

"love"... is painful. but "love", is not cruel, but rather, falling out of it is.

in the end, not everyone breaks even with "love", not everyone gets their happily ever after. "love" is a gambler, and you gamble with it and lose every. single. time. and yet, you continue to try, because "love" is a drug and you can't let go of it.

  "love" is not patient, "love" is not kind, "love" does not wait for you. you are fighting against time with it, and in the end, how often do you actually win?

in common era, media has engraved into us the stereotype, the expectation that there is hope for everyone to find this "love". but as you watch the whole world crumble around you, will you stay still in the hope that "love" wins? will you stay still, expecting "love" to save the day?

no!

"love", is not here to save any one of us. with regards to survival, is "love" impartial? is "love" unbiased? is "love" fair?

then what about the ones who fall in love alone?

treading on the topic of "unrequited love", is it logical to label such cases of the formerly mentioned as "love"? why should it be possible, allowed even, to fall in love alone?

frankly, it was not, and it was never because i didn't believe in love. in fact, i believe love is a beautiful thing. horrid, hurtful, difficult, but still, beautiful.

love, the deadliest of all drugs, presents itself as the most innocent, the most harmless of all substances, promising a high to all who indulge in it.

ingest love, fall in love, granted a light fast heart rate, is it enough for you?

no, my dear.

a promised high, it shall grant, for as long as plastered on the packaging.

side effects: hallucination, delusion and conflict.

love is your drug, love is your addiction, love is your language.

human nature, speak in love, speak with love, speak to love. since when did we truly understand the definition of such a profanity?

the science of human emotion; do we deserve to be defined by chemicals? do we deserve to blame the pain, the anguish, the heartbreak we experience, all on chemicals?

  can we rely on oxytocin to comfort us as we watch our hearts crumble, to emphasise attachment to a person, to build the deepest relationships?

  will the testosterone and oestrogen driving your lust overpower your rational thinking?

  will mistakes made be worth it? will the euphoria from the dopamine, the serotonin, compensate for the damage inflicted?

    are we driven by physical touch, heart-to-heart communication, can love be driven by the art surrounding you?

then... why should i believe— why do i believe in love past chemicals? logic, sense and ration drive my system, so why does love exclude such?

why, does love, change things?

  love is a powerful force, indeed, but is love... evil?

  is love destruction?

  how can such a tender profanity cause mass destruction? how does such a chaotic peace envelop us in stirring emotion?

and to discover it in such an intimate place, to find love in you, an alien emotion, an alien connection with a being so much like myself, the sheer chemistry of human emotion overridden by such a gentle force.

  i'd never intended to believe in love yet the thought of it compelled me to.

i'd never intended to fall in love... with you.

meeting you was summer in its brightest form, falling for you was a catastrophic winter storm and waiting for you was an incandescent autumn breeze.

but loving you was spring.

spring like clear waters, spring like blooming flowers, i'd never wanted to fall in love, much less with you.

i never believed in love, and yet you gave me a reason to.

and i'd dream reciprocation.

fall apart we would, but the euphoria, the excitement, the giddiness of the moment, would they justify the hurt?

  would my high be... worthy compensation?

and regardless, i'd give in.

  because love is my drug, and i will indulge time and time again, till i can't afford the cost to have you anymore.

—

please fucking kill me why am i back on this app it has been 3 fucking years since i updated this and idk why i'm still getting notifications

have fun though this took me a while