Obliviate {Draco Malfoy}

Chapter 9

Three Days Later

72 hours, quite a lot of time for one to sit down and think.

This is exactly what I've been doing, every second of every day. Thinking. Rummaging through my thoughts unstoppably.

On Monday, my mind set was rather too focused on the negative. I spent the whole day like I normally do, feeling sorry for myself, reflecting on how there's absolutely no possible way my life will ever get any better. I thought about my mother, and how she's possibly going through hell right now. I thought about how selfish of me it was to be here, safe, while she's over there, being tortured, mistreated, miserable. I thought...maybe it's best if I turn myself in, go with my uncle and save everyone the trouble of feeling the obligation to watch over me every second of everyday. I'd solve the problem so easily, if I only just...give him what he wants. It's the only solution. It's the only way.

Draco spent the majority of the day ignoring my complete existence, and I did the same. Actually, I didn't really give him much thought until nighttime came around. The lessons with Harry took place, and, of course, Draco didn't bother to show. Instead, he stayed outside the whole night, watching the door to the Room of Requirements like a bouncer at a nightclub. It's evident he has no interest whatsoever in learning anything from Harry, he'd rather die than go into that room for longer than two seconds really. Then, once we all began to leave, he saw I had company to go up to the common room, and then proceeded to leave.

Then Tuesday came around, and I went right back to losing myself in my own thoughts. Yet, for some reason, my mind set slightly shifted.

Yes, maybe life won't get any better, but given how this whole week has been like a slap to the face on its own...it just can't get any worse than this, for how could it? Rumors about You Know Who being back just continue to spread like a plague in a small town, my friends and I have been ordered by Dumbledore to practice defensive spells in order to learn how to defend ourselves due to these rumors, and of course, my personal problems which I won't even go through the trouble of naming, for even I would bore myself hearing about my sorrows once more.

The worst has passed, at least for now. My uncle wouldn't be so stupid to strike again so soon after his failed attempt. I at least have that sense of security, temporarily of course, but still secure. Also, though quite frightening, the rumors about the Dark Lord couldn't possibly be true. Dumbledore would surely do more than train two or three students with defensive spells about his return.

McGonagall talked about our O.W.L.S once again, which quite frankly felt like two hands grabbing my shoulders and shaking them with force. I haven't even studied for my O.W.L.S, not even given them any thought at all. I used to be focused on my studies, determined to get good grades. I used to be an excellent, hard working student who had great things ahead of her. I used to have a life, a real, amazing social life where my biggest problem was wether if Draco showed up to our tutoring lessons in a good mood or not.

I found myself missing that life, my old life. Missing those moments where I'd laugh with my friends without a care in the world, where school was my top priority, where I genuinely cared wether I passed my O.W.L.S or not.

But then I asked myself, where has that life gone?

I'm still in high school. I'm still expected to take my O.W.L.S and actually pass them, school still is the one thing I should be worrying about. I still have to take tests, I still have to work hard, and if I did all those things, I'd still have great things ahead of me. I'm still in that life I so very much miss. So why do I feel so disconnected from it?

Why, my uncle, of course. He's the one to blame. He's the one who took everything from me.

Yet...did he?