I'm all yours (l.s. au)

14. Can we please just talk

Harry was currently sitting on Nialls couch, watching a trashy tv show. He knew, he had to get his things from Louis today. They haven't seen each other in 3 months. And he still loved Louis. He was not mad at Louis, for punishing him after... that. He didn't know. But he is still mad, that he ignored him. They haven't ever talked that out and he would still like to know, why he even distanced himself so much. I mean, he knows it. But he doesn't really know it. Or he just doesn't want it to be true. The fact that Louis probably cheated and doesn't want him anymore. Well, they are split up now anyways. But Harry doesn't really want him to leave. He needs him. But he has to move on.
Today he would go there and get his stuff, and move on. He doesn't really know how, but he will figure it out.

So not even an hour later he was in front of Louis door, baring himself for seeing the boy again. And then he knocked.
Around 30 seconds later, the smaller lad stood in front of him. And he was simply starstruck. This damn blue eyes. And this face. And everything. "Oh, Harry.. good to see you. Come on in. Your things are on the couch.", Louis said quietly, looking at the floor. Harry walked past Louis into the apartment, already seeing his stuff. He grabbed one box with clothing and started carrying it towards the door.

"Wait Harry.", Louis stopped him, before he could even bring the first box to his car. "What?"
"Niall told me what happened. I- can we please just talk?", he said, with glassy eyes. So Harry put the box on the floor and closed the front door. He walked over to the couch and sat down next to Louis.
"Listen, I am so sorry. Everything is my fault. If we wouldn't have argued, nothing of this would have happened. And afterwards... I am just so sorry.", Louis told Harry truthfully, voice cracking at the end.
"Louis... you didn't know. I am not blaming you, so you shouldn't either. I just don't understand, why you pushed me away all these weeks? Did... did you cheat? Please be honest.", Harry pleaded.
"Never. Harry no. I swear. I lo- you are really important to me, I wouldn't do that.", Louis said.
"Why would you ignore me then?", Harry asked, now with tears in his eyes. He knew, he had to leave Louis after this.
"I- Harry I can't tell you that."
Now, Harry was kinda angry.
"Are you serious?! Louis what the fuck?! Don't you think I deserve an explanation? It was hell for me, when you always ignored me. You are really important to me and you just pushed me away. I thought you didn't want me anymore. I thought you were cheating. I thought you were just throwing me away, like a used toy. It hurt. Badly. And now you don't even want to tell me, why the hell you did it. I deserve this explanation. I will leave after this. Forever. You will not see me again. So either tell me now, and we may split ways on a good base, or you don't say anything and I will just go."
There was silence for about a minute. Both boys full on crying by now. Then Louis finally decided to speak up.
"Harry, you don't understand that! This is really hard for me too. I just wanted a bdsm relationship with you. But you just- I don't know. You are just you, and that made me so so whipped for you. And then I got these feelings for you, and I swear I couldn't handle that. Because of this bitch of my ex. He hurt me, and I just can't have those feelings. Because I don't wanna be hurt again. But I have those feelings for you. I have these stupid feelings for you and I really really tried pushing them away.. by pushing you away. And then you were gone, but those feelings weren't. They are still here and then I realised that I seriously can't live without you, no matter how freaking much I want to. But I know I have to let you go. So you can be happy. No matter how much it will hurt me. I know that what I just told you, will overwhelm you, because in the end, you just wanted a dom and not a lovestruck idiot, who treated you like shit and can't let you go anymore. And I am really sorry for that. But before you go... Harry I um... I really really love you. A lot."

And then it was silent. Uncomfortably silent.

A/N: yay, double update, because I keep forgetting to update. Sorryyyyy