First Choice • George Weasley

9. Aftermath

I curled into a ball against the door as I buried my head into my hands, choking on my sobs so no one would hear them. I felt nauseous- this tight, unbearable ache in my stomach that was creeping into my chest as I cried. It was a different kind of pain, something I had never felt before. And a feeling I would never wish on anyone. I couldn't breathe, and intense feelings of anger and sadness were fighting in my head as I tried to calm myself down.  

I felt so stupid, how could I be so naive? A stupid childhood crush. That's all it was, and that's all I should've let it be. I never should've told him how I felt, I never should've stayed up waiting for him that night... Everything that came out of his mouth was clearly a lie. And I was somehow foolish enough to believe him, hanging on his every word. I was really starting to think that after all this time, all this confusion, maybe I would get my happy ending with him. Maybe he was my person after all. But now more than ever, I knew that I was wrong. 

I tried to stand, stabilizing myself as I held onto the doorknob. I walked towards my bed as my body collapsed on top of it, shaking as I laid on my side and curled my knees up to my chest, facing away from the door. As I tried to slow my breathing, I heard heavy footsteps come up the stairs from outside of the room, followed by a loud knocking at the door.

"P-Paige, It's George, please. Please open the door. Let me talk to you, p-please." He spoke in broken words as he cried through the door. My chest tightened at the sound of his voice, I couldn't even look at him right now. 

I ignored his pleas as I cried into my pillow, trying not to let him hear me. But the sound felt impossible to control.

"Paige I'm begging you, p-please let me in. I know you're in there. J-just let me explain-"

"Go away, George." I managed to choke out, my voice breaking as I spoke. 

After a few moments of deafening silence, I heard him whisper "Alohomora" and the doorknob clicked. I felt like I was going to be sick as I heard the door slowly creak open. 

"Paige..." He whispered as the door creaked back shut softly.  I tightened my grip on the blanket as I heard him walk closer to me. "Look at me... Please." He whimpered, kneeling next to the bed, my back facing him. 

"I d-don't want to t-talk to you r-right now," I whispered, hating letting him see how upset I was. 

"Just let me explain, darling I'm begging-" He started as he reached to touch my back, but I immediately jerked away at the feeling of his hand and forced myself up on my feet. 

"Don't you dare call me that!" I cried as I turned to look at him, still knelt on the floor. He looked up at me with wide eyes that were rimmed with tears, about to fall with his next blink. 

"I- I'm so sorry." He choked out as he slowly rose to his feet, towering over me though still feet away. 

"How could you say that? Just friends? After everything we've talked about... All the years of keeping our feelings a secret from each other and everything that's happened over the last month..." He moved to walk closer to me but I held out my arm to stop him. "I've been torturing myself, George. Wanting so badly to be with you, to not live in some big secret anymore. But I didn't want to put pressure on you, so I waited. I waited, and I waited, and I waited in hopes that one day you'd finally be ready. And I guess that day was today, wasn't it?" Tears were now coating my face as everything I had been bottling up for weeks came out all at once, and a harsh silence fell over the room as he stared at me.

"W-why didn't you tell me?" He whispered, slowly walking around the bed as he approached me.

"B-because I didn't want to scare you away... It felt like everything w-was finally starting to fall into place, and knowing me I would've s-screwed it all up if I tried to talk to you about it." I looked down to hide my tears as another dripped down my cheek and fell to the floor, and as I did I felt his hand gently reach up to wipe my face with his thumb.