Wu Xie spun in circle and tried desperately to understand where he was.
Zhang Qi Ling was looking at this young man who seemed confused and lost.
What is the difference between life and death, heaven and hell, this life and the next, rested on the s...
Zhang Qi Ling turned his head in the opposite direction and looked out at the darkening sky. Silence surrounded them again and Wu Xie sighed, remembering that Zhang Qi Ling always had been a thinker, analyzing every sentence, never saying more than what absolutely needed to be said.
Wu Xie's eyes widened and his mouth became unbearably dry. He did! Know Zhang Qi Ling and then he watched with horror as Zhang Qi Ling's mouth opened and the memories faded, blown away while Wu Xie mentally clawed at them, only to watch them slip through his fingers.
"No."
Wu Xie blinked away the confusion inside his mind and nodded slowly. "Me neither. I always wanted to. PangZi and YunCi were so damn happy. I was happy for them but," Wu Xie looked at his own hands and watched them open and close before continuing, "I was so damn pissed off. PangZi used to flippantly say that finding YunCi was like... coming home."
Zhang Qi Ling blinked slowly and looked at Wu Xie's direction. Wu Xie couldn't stop the blush. "I know, I know... he watched a lot of girly stuff but the fact is I never found anyone who made me feel anything besides basic attraction. I never met anyone who I imagined I'd be with forever." Wu Xie sighed and when he spoke again his voice was full of quiet pain and frustration. "Every relationship I ever had, and I'm not talking about sex, I always had to word hard at... forcing the feeling, you know?" Wu Xie stopped talking but refused to look at Zhang Qi Ling because for once, he wasn't forcing anything.
More silence and then Zhang Qi Ling said, "I felt..." Zhang Qi Ling's deep voice hitched and he shook his head. He started again, his voice steady and strong. "They thinks I'm asexual."
Wu Xie chuckled and leaned forward until his elbows rested on his knees. With his face in his hands, he turned and looked at Zhang Qi Ling, brown eyes sparkling. "Are you?"
Zhang Qi Ling stared blankly. "Are you asking if I've had sex?"
The cocky grin split Wu Xie's face. "Why, yes, Xiao ge. I suppose I am. You don't look like someone who would lose control."
"I didn't," Zhang Qi Ling softly said and then his beautiful eyes all but shown with joyful glee. "I made others."
"Why, Xiao ge! I didn't know you could joke! Ahaha."
Zhang Qi Ling continued to stare at Wu Xie with his bottomless eyes and Wu Xie's nails dug painfully into his palm. Something stirred deep inside him, twisting and trying to claw its way up his chest and Wu Xie realized it was jealously... black and intense.
Zhang Qi Ling shrugged but never took his eyes off Wu Xie. "The truth will set you free."
Wu Xie huffed and the alien feeling receded. "Apparently not in our current situation." Zhang Qi Ling's fingers once more tapped against the stone and Wu Xie cleared his throat. "Do you think that there is someone for everyone?"
Zhang Qi Ling continued to look out into the street and so Wu Xie pressed on. "Is there one person you are destined to be with and when you find them things start to make sense, maybe it's not so hard?'
"Like a soul mate?" Zhang Qi Ling said flatly.
"Yeah, I guess," Wu Xie said softly and leaned back against the stair behind him.
Zhang Qi Ling ran a hand over his face and then answered his voice curt, "I don't know. I never considered it though."
Wu Xie nodded and refused to look at Zhang Qi Ling. He whispered, "And you never felt lonely?"
Zhang Qi Ling's hands curled into fists and Wu Xie heard him take a deep breath, then turned and looked at Wu Xie. "I did but I have been for so long. I'm not sure I could," Zhang Qi Ling hesitated a moment, "I don't think I would like having someone who was that important to me. I don't know what I would do if I lost them."
Wu Xie sat up and leaned toward Zhang Qi Ling. "But wouldn't it be worth it? To feel, even for a moment, that you... belonged?" The last word was hardly a whisper but Wu Xie's throat burned as though he had screamed it into the dying sun.
Zhang Qi Ling sighed and Wu Xie leaned back where he was, suddenly cold in the shade of the stone building behind him. "It doesn't really matter now."
"Yeah, I guess so but what if," Wu Xie began but Zhang Qi Ling cut him off.
"Not everyone is happy, Wu Xie. Not everyone is living their 'complete' life with their perfect person when they die." Zhang Qi Ling rubbed his hands and looked at Wu Xie, agitation visible in his eyes. "Having a soul mate or not has nothing to do with 'this'." Zhang Qi Ling finished and looked pointedly at the masses of people moving up the stairs.
"But, Xiao ge," Wu Xie said and once more something flickered in his mind as his tongue rolled over the syllables of Zhang Qi Ling's name before blinking out. "What if it's not about living with your soul mate as much as having met them?" Wu Xie worried his bottom lip, staring into the street and missing how Zhang Qi Ling's eyes widened briefly and his hand reached out before he shook his head and gripped the cold stone step, confusion swirling in his eyes. "We can't always fall in love with that person. Sometimes maybe the time isn't right but the idea is you have met them and for a moment, just for brief time, things were... easy. Maybe it's the stranger that pulls you from a fire or a tutor in school who helps you understand in a way you never did or ever will again. Maybe it's the guys behind you in the grocery line who offers you a smile and the extra money you need. Maybe it's the policeman who let you off with a warning. They touched you off with a warning. They touched you and you touched them and then you wait for the next life... maybe you get your happily ever after and then."
Zhang Qi Ling's face darkened and he shook his head before frowning, "None of that nonsense matters... even if it is true. It doesn't help this. It doesn't help us." He whispered in despair.
Wu Xie nodded and rubbed the back of his head. His heart beat wildly in his chest, like he was alone in the dark and knew something was behind him, waiting. Like something was coming. "This is just stupid. Look, whether it was unfinished business, reluctance to move on or absent soul mates, there has to be a way out of here. Maybe if we both start asking?" Wu Xie stood, brushing off his pants and then held his hand out to Zhang Qi Ling.
The dark haired man shrugged and made no move to get up. "I don't know..." But Wu Xie heard all the unspoken fear, anger, and hopelessness in just those words and smiled.
"I know we can do this," he said softly and smiled brighter when Zhang Qi Ling looked up, surprise making his black eyes shine. "Now you have me. Imagine what we could do together."
Zhang Qi Ling stared into Wu Xie's brown eyes for what felt like forever to both men. He lifted his hand and their fingers touched and with a surprised inhale of breath, their eyes slit shut.
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