Outsider

honey, i'm a lesbian. -13

Everything is fine. For the next three weeks, I heal and then-after a psych eval-rejoin the team. They mostly seem glad to have me back, and even Spencer isn't acting as standoffish as before. Absence makes the heart grow fonder, I guess.

"Wheels up in 30." A grin spreads across my face as Hotch ends a briefing with the familiar words.

"You really missed this that much?" Morgan asks as we stand up.

"Honestly, yeah." I say and he scoffs.

"Man, if I'd gotten six weeks off...the things I'd do."

"Don't you mean the people you'd do?" I tease and he grins.

"You got me there." I laugh and follow him out of the room, grabbing my go bag from my desk. Elle smiles at me as I perch on the edge of my desk, waiting for everyone else.

"Excited, huh?" she whispers and I wiggle my eyebrows at her.

"You have no idea how much."

"Oh, no, I really do. I've heard about it...every...single...day." She says softly, a smile playing across her lips. Spencer glances up from his desk and I'm worried that he's heard her, but he just looks back away.

"Hmm. If I get a cat, I can tell the cat about my life instead." I say as we start walking towards the elevators. The idea of getting a pet had been on my mind for the past few weeks. A dog would require more time and exercise than I could give it, a fish would be boring, but a cat would be nearly perfect.

"I suppose." Elle says. "Cat would be fun to have around."

"You're not allergic are you?" I ask and she shakes her head.

"Thank god." I say and she laughs, bumping me with her hip as Spencer and Morgan follow us to the elevator. We get to the airstrip and load onto the jet.

"I'm calling a window seat." I say.

"Are you eight years old?" Morgan asks and I roll my eyes, dropping down into a seat.

"It's been so long, I just want the experience."

"It's been six weeks, Vandy." He says, shoving my legs aside and sitting next to me. Elle takes the seat across from me, JJ sitting beside her. Reid is on the couch, and Gideon and Hotch sit in their regular seats in the back of the plane.

"So." JJ starts. "What did you do while you were out?"

"Slept. Studied. Debated getting a cat. Cooked."

"What do you mean cooked. You said you were hopeless at cooking." Morgan says.

"God, do you remember everything I say?"

"No, just the funny stuff."

"So, yeah. Everything I say." Morgan sighs so loudly in response that it startles Reid on the couch. I send a smile at Spencer, trying to avoid giving him any reason to dislike me. He just nods, and goes back to doing whatever he does.

"Anyway, how did you cook. I'm interested."

"I learned." I glance at Elle, who looks thoroughly amused at Morgan's interrogation.

"Learned how?"

"I-I learned. Just did." He gasps dramatically.

"Someone taught you!" My face flushes. "Who?"

"No one-"

"Oh boy. You, Sawyer Vanderbilt, have a lover!" He sounds way too thrilled and I tip my head back against the seat, fighting the urge to look at Elle, who is no doubt grinning at my predicament.

"Okay, now I want to know. Tell us about him." JJ says.

"Yeah, who's the lucky man?" Morgan says and I frown, sitting up straight and glancing between JJ and Morgan.

"Hold on." I wave my finger between them. "Do you two think I'm straight?"

"Are you not?" Morgan asks.

"Honey, I'm a lesbian. Is it really not at all obvious?"

"No. Not really. Good for you though." JJ says.

"Yeah, thanks for telling us." Morgan says, offering me a genuine smile. I smile back and then Elle speaks up.

"I'm bi, y'know." She says.

"Oh, I had no idea." I say, knowing my cheeks have to be bright red. She's very obviously teasing me, and I clear my throat.

"Huh. I thought I'd told you."

"Uh, nope."

"Hm. Guess it never came up." She says and I slowly nod, before looking back at JJ.

"So no. No men. And no women either, teaching me to cook. Pure recipe book magic." The mild shock of my coming out to them has seemingly distracted them enough from probing any further, and we all join the discussion Gideon and Hotch are having about the case.

"Alright. When we land, Elle and Reid, I want you to speak with the families. Morgan and Vandy, go to the dumpsite. JJ, Hotch, and I will start at the police station." Gideon orders. Once we arrive we head our separate ways, Morgan and I climbing into a black SUV.

"Sawyer, real talk." He says and I look over at him from the passenger seat.

"Yeah?"

"It means a lot that you told us you're gay. That you trust us enough."

""I mean, yeah, of course. You guys are my friends."

"Yes, I just know that it wasn't easy for you at first. And I'm partly to blame for that. I should have been nicer."

"No, Derek, don't beat yourself up. I was new, came breezing in uninvited. It's understandable. And besides, you came around pretty quickly." 'Unlike Spencer' I think.

"You deserve to be here. And I'm glad you trust us."

"Of course. And hey, before real talk ends, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"What's going on with Spencer? I've been here for months and he still seems so...cold." Morgan is quiet for a minute and then sighs.

"Spencer doesn't hate you. He just...he has a hard time, and you replaced someone who he had gotten close to."

"I guess. It's fine. I don't need everyone to like me." That's only mildly true. My constant need for validation is not one of my best qualities. But, hey, I'm working on it.

"Give him time, Sawyer. He'll come around. At the very least, he respects you." I nod and Morgan grins.

"Okay, real talk is over. Now, are you gonna tell me the truth about who was teaching you to cook."

"Oh, would you look at that? My favorite song." I turn the radio on and increase the volume, wincing as country music blares through the car. Unsurprising considering we're in Alabama.

"You have terrible music taste!" Morgan yells over the guitar.

"Do you actually think this is my favorite song?" I yell back and he rolls his eyes, turning the radio down a notch.

"You can't escape my question." He says.

"Oh, would you look at that?" I repeat dryly. "The dumpsite." He huffs as we roll to a stop and I grin, hopping out of the car onto the dusty road.

"Let's go to work." I mumble happily.

i believe in morgan-sawyer friendship supremacy, that's it. 

that's not actually it-wanted to again thank you guys so much for reading, voting, and commenting, every read and star mean so much and i love responding to comments, so thank you!! next chapter we're finally gonna get into why spencer is like this (haha should be fun) LOVE YOU ALL!!!! -sasha<3