Vanderwood x Reader

Hardass Turned Soft [GN!Reader]

Vanderwood was definitely no stranger to nightmares, not after all the things he's been through in his past. Not to mention the amount of times he'd been around when Saeyoung suffered from them as well.
Meaning: He knew the signs when he saw them. Only that this time it came as somewhat of a surprise to see them on you. He was so used to see you smiling, being in a good mood and even downright bubbly.
So the sight of you with still somewhat disheveled hair, dark circles under your eyes and even your skin looking a bit dull and not to mention that it seemed like you could've fallen asleep anywhere at any given second, it was kind of strange.

Since not only him, but you as well stayed at the Choi household for the time being, basically playing nannies for the twins, (even if you always said that wasn't the case), he decided to keep a closer eye on you, and step in, if necessary. Though, to be fair, he'd had absolutely no idea how he'd do that. Mainly because he's not exactly the best at offering comforting words.

Although the moment you dropped something for what felt like the 100th time, the former agent sighed, grabbed your wrist and wordlessly pulled you along towards the couch.
"Vanderwood, what are you doing? I wasn't done-"
"Yes, you are done", he interrupted you, as he sat down and tugged you with him. "It's obvious that you're about to collapse."

There was some hesitation on your side, paired with some fidgeting and all he did was raise a brow at that. Why were you suddenly so nervous?
"I'm not gonna bite, you know? Just lay down."
Another moment of you basically just staring at him, until you eventually complied and shifted a bit to curl up on the couch, with your head resting on his lap.
Now that was at least a start. The next thing he needed to achieve was make you relax. Because in that moment you seemed so tense, he was nearly worried you'd snap in half at any second.

Though how the hell was he supposed to do that? Since he usually disliked talking about anything the like, even if it was "only" a nightmare, he just assumed that people generally wouldn't like to get bombarded with questions about it. But then again, you had proven to definitely not be like other people. And if he was being absolutely honest, he hated seeing you like that. Maybe he also missed your cheery expression, the bright smile you'd occasionally aim at him, the gleam in your eyes, when something got you all excited...

Quickly, he shook his head to rid himself of all those thoughts.
Now is not the time for that bullshit! Concentrate!
After taking a moment to just look at you, studying your face, he figured that maybe you'd actually want to talk about it? If not, that would also be totally fine. Though he should at least ask, right?
"Wanna talk about it?", he finally uttered, not really sure what to do with his own hands, so he opted for putting his arms on the backrest.

For the first time since you've settled down on the couch, your eyes actually darted up at him, big and round and your expression was a bit surprised. Why? He had absolutely no idea. After all, he did care. Even for Saeyoung, that little shit. He probably just didn't show it in a regular way.
"It's stupid, really..."
"Nothing's stupid, if it upsets you. Look, if you wanna talk, I'll listen. If you don't wanna talk, that's okay, too. Whatever you're comfortable with."

Your lips pursed in thought and Vanderwood decided that it was probably for the best to keep quiet and let you organize your thoughts, until you were ready to talk. But if there was any way he could help make you feel better, he'd sure as hell do it. No hesitation at all.
"I just... It was a nightmare. First one in quite some time, actually. I've had the last one when I was told about the bomb in Rika's apartment. Afterwards things were so busy... I guess my brain had too much to process. But now that things settled down? It all came crashing down like an avalanche. The things Rika did, what both Saeran and Saeyoung were put through, nearly getting kidnapped, V, the agency..."
You let out a humorless laugh and pressed the heels of your palms into your eyes.

He wanted so badly to offer you any kind of comfort, show you that you weren't alone, but he had absolutely no idea how. For years he'd kept his distance to most people. Any form of intimacy? Basically non-existent. So what the hell was he supposed to do?
While he was still struggling to come up with anything, you slowly looked back up at him, nearly a bit bashful.
"Uhm... I know you're a hardass, but could you play with my hair? It would really help", you murmured.
At first he simply blinked at you, though then he realized that you've pretty much helped him out with that.

So rather carefully, he moved one hand to your head and began to slowly rake his fingers through your hair. The way your eyes fluttered shut and you began to relax into him were a good sign to him, so he continued, sometimes lightly scratching your scalp as well. It was also weirdly relaxing for himself, he realized.
"You know, I'm actually surprised that didn't happen to you sooner."
The quiet, questioning noise you made, along with how your nose scrunched up a bit, was way too cute and he had to force himself to look away, so he wouldn't lose his train of thought.
"You went through so much shit, in such a short time... No normal person would even get involved with one of those things you had to deal with. Not to mention that I've seen up close how you've kept your cool in the most absurd situations involving both, the agency and that freakish cult."

For a second he froze completely when you reached out to take his free hand and started to play with his fingers. He was just thankful that you hadn't looked up at him, which meant you wouldn't see the flush coloring his cheeks. Why was such a small touch affecting him like that? Maybe it was, because it was you... There was no denying that he had a soft spot for you. Big one, actually. Not that he'd ever say it out loud... He had a reputation after all.

"Anything you want to talk about, regarding any of those things?", he offered and continued to run his hand through your hair, every now and then twirling a strand around his finger.
"Not really, no... Besides, I don't want to bother you with it. You've probably got enough on your own plate.
"Sweetheart, I asked you, didn't I? So you wouldn't bother me. Trust me when I say that bottling things up won't make anything better at all. And I'd rather have you talk about it, instead of having you break down completely."

The way you blushed at his words made the corners of his mouth twitch up. Adorable. So calling you sweetheart already got you flustered? He'd definitely keep that in mind.
You began to shift, until your face was pressed to his stomach and your arms circles around his waist, hugging yourself as good as possible closer to him and it was his turn to blush again, but it was nice. Actually, he could get used to having you that close... Not to mention that since he got out of the agency, he could allow himself to get attached to someone, right?
Still a bit lost in his own thoughts, a comfortable silence settled between you two and he grabbed a blanket from the armrest of the couch to spread it out over you.

"Vandy? Thank you...", your soft voice eventually broke the silence and even if he would've tried to contain it, he couldn't help but smile for real, this time.
"Not for that. Anytime you need to talk or be around someone, you can always come to me, okay?"
You only nodded and snuggled even closer to him.

After a while, he noticed how your breathing evened out and your entire body seemed to have relaxed, which was a good sign.
Although only a couple minutes later Saeran and Saeyoung returned from their brother bonding time, with the older twin being obnoxiously loud. Not a surprise, really, but in that moment even more annoying than it usually was.

"Mary, Y/N! We're baaack!"
Vanderwood's head snapped around to glare at the older twin
"I swear to god, that if you won't shut up and keep it the fuck down, I will tase you until you're a drooling mess", he pretty much growled. If that idiot woke you up, he would've made him pay instantly.

The second you began to twitch, his entire attention was back on you and he continued stroking your hair lightly, while he made sure that you were still properly tugged in, his expression softening when he felt you nuzzle his stomach in your sleep.
Meanwhile both twins were just staring at the two of you, Saeran being the first to snort in amusement, before he wordlessly headed into the kitchen, to grab himself some ice cream.
Saeyoung, on the other hand, was still slack-jawed and blinking in utter confusion.

"What the hell is happening?"
When Vanderwood went back to scowling at the redhead, he decided that it was definitely not worth getting tased for accidentally waking you, so it was probably better to retreat to his own room for now.
Oh, but he absolutely did plan on using the newfound information to poke some fun at the older man for obviously being a big softie for you. No matter the price he'd have to pay!