Vanderwood x Reader

Red string [GN!Reader]

A little soulmate AU with agency MC
_____________________________________

Sometimes it felt like life just wanted to mock him. Why else were those stupid soulmates a thing? But not only that, oh no. It also had to come with that ridiculous red string tied to Vanderwood's finger. Constantly reminding him of some poor bastard being connected to him. Though it also worked the other way around. Being a painful reminder for something that would never happen. That could never happen. 
Getting attached to anyone was way too dangerous, so having and especially finding his soulmate? That would be a death sentence. For both parts involved. So he really did try his best to simply ignore that string attached to him. 

More often than not, he was tempted to even cut it. Get rid of it completely. Not even necessarily for himself, but for the person that would've inevitably been extremely disappointed when they found out who was connected to them, Honestly, who would've wanted to be with him? With someone who had so much blood on his hands? Killed more people than he could count? At least no one in their right mind. 
Some nights he sat there, nearly glaring at the offending string. A knife or some scissors already in hand. Only one small movement, and he'd be rid of it. No more worries about potentially running into his soulmate somewhere. Just a second and it would've all been over. A weight lifting off his shoulders. 

Though in the end he never pulled through. Because, as much as it irritated the shit out of him, there were also days where said stupid string was the only thing that kept him going. Where it posed as the thing that gave him a reason to fight, even when things seemed pointless otherwise. There was that small, hopeful voice inside him that told him maybe, someday, there would be a time where it was safe to look for his other half. 
Of course he never allowed himself to think about it too much. But especially when he was passing all those happy couples, who obviously found their soulmates, these thoughts clawed their way to the front of his mind. Leaving him wondering what it would possibly feel like to be with that person. What it would feel like to be happy again for the first time in years... 

Not to mention that there were moments when he felt like there was already a deeper connection. How? He had absolutely no idea. But there was simply no other explanation for what happened every now and then. When he felt a small tug on his finger. Usually when he either woke up from a nightmare or came home from a particularly shitty day. It was like someone tried to tell him he wasn't alone. That they were there, no matter how far apart they may have been. Something that was equally comforting and scary at the same time. 
Vanderwood tried to ignore it as good as possible. Even when it caused his heart to skip a beat. Knowing that there was someone who seemed to care, even when they were strangers. Still, he tried to get it out of his head again as fast as possible. Nevertheless he found himself doing the same. Giving the thread a small tug out of nowhere. He didn't even know why he did that. Was that the connection? Was that what made them tug on it as well? Damn, it was all too confusing and he knew he'd end up with a headache, if he thought about it too much. 

Most days there was thankfully not much time to dwell on those things. Him being busy taking care of the hacker brat or getting send on missions. It was a welcome distraction from the turmoil in his mind, that seemingly got worse with every day. The tugs he felt happening more recently and he had to resist sending one right back whenever that happened. 
Get it together! How stupid are you? Getting attached to someone you've never met. It's bullshit! It's best for you to stay alone, he reminded himself as he lit a cigarette, leaning against the side of his car. 
Afterwards he looked down at his watch to check the time. Great. The person the agency paired him with for a mission was already 5 minutes late. Now if that wasn't a perfect start into the day. 

Suddenly he got pulled out of his thoughts when there wasn't only the slight tug he was used to, but his hand got yanked forward. Instantly making him look up and the first thing he saw was you staring at him, eyes big and round. Then his gaze landed on the red string connecting the two of you, an array of emotions washing over him at the same time. Panic, confusion, relief... 
Before he was able to process any of them, you already stepped closer, smiling so widely, looking like you've just won the lottery. Which didn't make any sense to him at all. 
"Vanderwood... Fate does work in mysterious ways, huh?", you chuckled.
All he could do for a while was stare and blink at you. Out of all people... His soulmate was actually someone from the agency? What were the odds? And while it didn't make things less dangerous for any of you, it was at least... easier? After all you were on the same page. There was no reason to try and explain what he did and why. Why it was important that you always had to be careful. You already knew, since you were in the exact same position as him. 

Admittedly, the string did make some things easier. When it was decided that you two should work together for more missions, you had both agreed to keep the fact of you being soulmates a secret, he was easily able to find you. No matter how you two got separated, you always found each other again. 
And... As negatively as he'd first thought about it all, it was actually quite nice. Not only having someone who understood what he went through, but just having someone at his side in general. Having such a deep connection.
Was it terrifying just how quickly he'd developed feelings for you? Absolutely. But you were always so patient with him. Never pushing, letting him figure things out in his own time. Leading to him eventually opening up more and more. 

A couple months later and he already couldn't imagine a life without you. Made sure to always ensure your safety, even when he knew just how capable you were. Though you were the most important person for him and now that he found you, or well you found him, he'd be damned to let you go again. 
"What?", you asked, amusement visible on your face when you caught him looking at you. 
He only shrugged, trying to appear as nonchalant as possible. 
"Nothing. Just thinking about what a lucky bastard I am." 
Even when you rolled your eyes and huffed quietly, you walked over to him, fingers running through his hair, while you leaned in for a kiss. The gentle action enough to tickle a small smile out of him and he didn't lose any time to pull you into his lap, hands resting on your hips. 

"If anyone is lucky, it's clearly me... It might sound silly, but the first time you tugged back on the string? I was this close to crying out of happiness. I always thought you downright ignored me, so that was quite a memorable moment for me", you admitted quietly, cheeks covered in a faint blush. Something he always found extremely endearing on you. 
"Not gonna lie, at first I was trying to ignore you." The way you gasped dramatically and fixed him with a mock hurt look actually made him chuckle and he was quick to press his lips to your shoulder. "But you won, in the end. Brat." 
"Admit it, that's what you love about me~", you immediately shot back. 
"Mhm... Maybe." 

Your bright laughter never failed to make him feel all warm and tingly. Even a little proud about being the one who apparently managed to make you happy. 
Who knew... Maybe you two wouldn't be able to live a normal life, at least not anytime soon. But if there was one thing he was certain about, it was that everything was less gloomy and dark ever since you came into his life. 
His soulmate... Something that had appeared to be impossible to have turned into the best thing ever happening to him.