14 she's not you

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its been 3months since jennie crashed at my place.

on that morning i decided to stake out with my ramen cup just outside the convenience store just a little longer.

by little, i meant i spent another 3hours there until i received a text from jackson that theyve finally left for the hotel.

i dont know whether jennie actually fulfilled her end of the promise to wait for me every night at han river, at least until her flight back to melbourne.

and as far as i know, her & kai's flight is in an hour.

a huge part of me wanted to reconcile & save our friendship, but if im being honest?

i was scared.

for so long, ive convinced myself that ive moved on- that my heart no longer yearned for her love back.

i was scared bc what if- in the process of mending our friendship i realise that i was wrong all along?

i hate to get love wrong- and i especially hate that when i think of love, one of the few faces that pop up in my head is jennie's.

so far, today has been busy at work.

in the four years ive worked for my family's entertainment company- YG here in seoul, ive been promoted to one of its executive directors & the job is generally very rewarding.

my eyes were glued to the computer, skimming through my emails when dahyun, my secretary knocked on the door to introduce me to my new personal assistant.

i felt hiring an assistant would lessen the load & pressure i put on dahyun - i know for a fact that working with me, as an executive director & a producer can be pretty demanding even when dahyun denies this.

"miss lisa, i wanted to introduce to you your new personal assistant- she starts monday but ill be training her today and for the next two weeks!" dahyun said cheerfully.

my eyes were still fixed on the computer screen however, in the 10secs the new girl stepped into my office it was obvious from my peripheral vision she was  pretty.

i gave a genuine smile even before i could look up to meet the girl's eyes.

"jennie, introduce yourself..." i heard dahyun whisper.

i thought to myself how funny it is the universe play tricks on me- my jennie kim, my best friend was now on a flight to melbourne so maybe the stars felt the need to introduce another jennie into my life?

i smiled to the thought, and when i finally looked up to meet this girl's eyes-

"hello, miss lisa" what.

"im jennie kim-" the.

"& im looking forward to working with you" Fuck.


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we acted like we didnt know each other that afternoon.

or at least i tried to avoid you as much as i could, but obviously it was inevitable that we'd interact so i played it cool.

i was civil.

after all, i was your boss & you are now my employee.

our relationship outside the office shouldnt affect the company's workflow.

i was about to head off and saw that both girls were still on their desks- dahyun was still going through some duties/responsibilities as an assistant with you but i interrupted you both with a joke.

"hey girls- its a friday stop working too hard!" dahyun giggled whilst you just smiled.

"seriously, dont stay back too late okay? goodnight..." and you said goodnight back.

what i didnt overhear however was that as soon as the elevator doors closed, dahyun asked you to catch up to me to hand a few papers to sign for faxing.

but because friday nights were also date nights for me & my girlfriend that you dont know about, it mustve been a surprising sight for you to see me kiss a girl that wasnt tiffany.

or you.

i usually like to keep my personal life private from people at work but seeing jiwon after an emotionally overwhelming day, i just felt the need to hug her and to kiss my worries away.

noh jihye.

she's not you.

no girl ever is.

but she makes me feel safe and loved, more than you ever could.

"...uh lisa?" you quietly called out.

"-i mean, Miss Lisa..." you now had both noze & i's attention and i felt my girlfriend squeeze my hand as if to say that everything's alright & that she was there to protect me.

she knew about you, about us.

i told her about what we were, and what we could've been.

but she accepted and loved me anyway for it.

"yes, jennie?" i asked.

startled, it looked as if you were carefully choosing the right words to say but your eyes only screamed to know who the hands im holding belonged to.

"dahyun forgot to give you these documents to sign for next week" grateful, i took the papers from you and gave you a quick smile.

i was just dying to get out of there, and i could feel noze was too.

it was suffocating being around you.

and i hated that no matter how many years have passed, or how i distanced myself from you- the fact is, it still hurts.

the thought of you still brings me so much pain.


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a/n: do people still read this? 🥺

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