Have you Ever

VIII. Magic is just an illusion

12.27.15 / 09:37PM

Hello MyLabs! How are you? I hope you're doing fine wherever you are right now. I'm sorry if I wasn't able to make time for you these days especially when I started working. And I also have to spend more time during my training period to learn and understand all the things needed for my job. Not to mention the one month worth of backlog that I had to coped up due to sudden resignation of the former Coordinator. But since the factory is shutdown for one week, I have time to chat with you tonight. I just wanna give updates about what happened to me these past few months.

Let's start talking about this guy who moved this stone heart of mine. I never thought I would like someone as fast as I did. His name is Paul, one of the Factory Supervisors in our company. He's quite tall, has good built, kind-hearted and most of all, he has an irresistible smile that caught my heart big time. And you know what's funny, he's the same guy I was talking about when I got lost during the time that I was looking for the ATLE office. Who would have thought that I would fall for someone who I used to call weird. Or maybe because love really moves in mysterious way. Kyaaah~ Cringeeee~

Anyway, I invited him to come with me to celebrate my birthday with The Girls and my family. Of course, given the situation, they interrogated me for coming home with Paul. They say I can fool the ghost, but not the Girls. So I simply said that I have a crush on him. And when the time comes that Paul needs to go home, I decided to walk him out but who would have thought that my first kiss will be as passionate as it is that night. I never imagined that I have a hidden talent when it comes to kissing. It seems like it was not my first even when it is. Or maybe, it's the alcohol that pushes me to the limit. It was unforgettable. I never imagined my first kiss would happen under the moonlight.

But despite the romantic scene, my friends never failed to make me laugh. As we were drunk because of that sweet moment, Rosé suddenly came out and called out my name. She witnessed us, hugging each other or maybe even before we stop. And out of her shocked, not knowing what to do, all she can utter was "Oops! Sorry!" Our romantic night together ended like a comic scene. But nevertheless, it was one of my most unforgettable moments in my life. My first kiss.

However, lately, we don't have enough time to chat or even go home together because I am quite busy at work due to the one week shutdown. There are a lot of things to do before closing the factory; especially the reports for the stocks on hand in the warehouse. So we just text each other from time to time, like when we're about to go home or greeting good morning or goodnight. How I wish we can see each other again when we come back to work next year. When I was a student, I always hope that vacations would never end but look at me right now; wishing for the vacation to fly so fast just to see him again.

But despite all that Mylabs, I have something to confess. To be honest, I am feeling terrified. I'm quite afraid with all of these sudden moments. I'm afraid that everything fits perfectly, way too perfect and way too fast. I'm afraid I'm falling too fast for Paul. Or should I just go with the flow and let things happen accordingly instead of having regrets for not doing the best that I can? After that night, we haven't talked about us. There's no clarification. I don't want to confront him what was that for because I'm afraid I'll get disappointed with his answer. I'm afraid that it might just be "nothing" to him. Or am I just overthinking right now because I let my fears overpower me? What do you think should I do?

Maybe the best solution would be asking him straight to the point, right? I doubt he'll kiss me that way just for nothing, right? This is the reason why I'm so afraid to be in a relationship. I will always be the anxious one. The over thinker. I don't really know what to do. *Deep sigh*