Thirty

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30:

Why?
Do I really have to cry?
When I hear or read your name...
I feel a load of blame...
When I see when you were online...
No matter what I say, I'm not fine...
Tell me what you have to say...
Whispers your thoughts to me, night and day...
If you're silent, don't worry...
Let me tell you, I'm sorry...
Let me whisper in your ears...
The things I've felt for years...
The times I thought of you...
The months I didn't know what to do...
The weeks that missed you so much...
The days I've wished for your touch...
The hours I've cried...
The minutes I felt like I died...
The seconds you appeared in my head...
When I felt heavier than lead...
When I felt tears burning behind my eyes...
When I felt like giving up after so many tries...
When I felt like running away...
When I felt cold and grey...
When the only warmth was God and his word...
No one seemed to care except my Lord...
When there was no one to hug...
I had to unplug...
After a while, tears would come no more...
I was about to wither to my core...
Sadness was too big and strong...
Everything seemed to be wrong...
I lost my grip...
I fell and I had a dip...
I looked in the sea...
Sorrow and fear had to flee...
The beautiful coral reef I found took my breath away...
I wanted to stay...
But I went to overcome my troubles...
Then, I noticed that God had popped all my trouble bubbles...
I went to the shore and realized...
Without God by my side...
I'm all alone...
I sat down on a stone...
And held back tears again...
It started to rain...
The raindrops washed away my tears...
I noticed I have not many fears...
I jumped up and started to run...
I found a road and out broke the sun...
I suddenly knew what to do...
I looked up and saw the rainbow too...
Now I'm running on this road...
Getting rid of this heavy load...
Every day I learn...
But I feel my heart burn...
I know where to find my home...
But while I wait, I'll roam...
My home needs to find me...
Do you see?
My home has two long legs and walks around...
My home has two ears and hears sound...
My home has two brown eyes that read this...
I wonder if he realizes that he is the one I miss...

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