Casey's POV
"STOP IT! JUST STOP YELLING AT ME!" I yell back at my mom
"CASEY ELIZABETH BECKINSALE DON'T EVER YELL AT ME!" her hand connects with my cheek and I already know it's going to leave a mark
I look to the floor for a minute and then look back at her, her face is a mixture of feelings I can't understand. Me and my mom usually talk and do the stuff that mom and daughter do but most of the time we're fighting which includes yelling, cursing, and if it's bad enough, slapping.
Most of the time it starts because of some stupid shit like me taking too long in the shower, or me having a mess in my room, or me getting bad grades, or anything that I do. Sometimes I blame my mom for this arguments but deep down I know that all this fighting is because of me, everything wrong that happens in this house or in my family's life is my fucking fault. I try to tell myself that I'm not the problem but it's kinda hard to think that when my mom reminds me everyday what a useless piece of shit I am.
My life is pretty hard, I live in a little apartment with my mom and sister. My mom has a working schedule that benefits me in some ways but kills me in others, she works Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday. In the weekends I always go out even if it's just to the park I just need to get out. In the days my mom stays home I literally wake up crying because when I come from school I always do something bad and piss her off.
My sister is almost never around because 1. She doesn't wanna deal with mom's shit 2. She prefers to hang out with her shitty crack head friends. Yeah it's pretty unbelievable but my "+A student" "Independent" "Smart" and "Perfect" sister, Imogen is a fucking crack head. How did I find out? One day I left the house at around 6pm because I couldn't handle my mom anymore so I walked to the park and climbed this really big and old tree they have in there, when I got to the top I saw my sister and her friends getting high as fuck near this bushes at the park. I found her there a bunch of other times after that, she eventually found out I knew about her dirty little secret so she begged me not to tell mom of course I asked her something in return
*Flashback*
"Casey please I'm begging you, don't tell mom please" Imogen begged
"Why shouldn't I?" I said back
"Because if you don't I'll do whatever you want, please Casey"
I thought of something that I wanted that Imogen could give me
"Ok" I said " I won't tell mom but, you have to buy me cigarettes whenever I ask you too"
"Why do you even want cigarettes? Have you ever smoked before?" She asked
"Well if you're not gonna get them then I guess I'll just go home and have a very serious talk with mom" I turn around and start walking away
"Wait!" She says "I'll get you your cigarettes just please don't tell mom" I smirked back at her and handed her the $50 I had in my pocket and told her to buy me all the cigarette packs she could buy and some mints
*End of Flashback*
That day out of all of the thing that I could've asked for I asked for cigarettes, but why? Why would 14 year old Casey would want to fuck up her life like that? Well my life was already pretty fucked up, My parents got divorced after my shitty excuse of a dad cheated on my mom, my mom started acting like shit with me (yeah I said me because I'm the shit daughter and Imogen is the perfect daughter), school became harder not only the classes but the students were the things bothering me. The names are Amy Rose and Miles Knapp, those fucking assholes are the people who've made my life miserable ever since the 3rd grade. They think they're better than everyone else so they attack the people they see the most naive and that is of course me, the skinny, pale, and unfriendly person. They've done the most horrible things to me, one time I went to the bathroom for lunch (because I hate the cafeteria) and they came up to me and shoved me inside of a bathroom stall, threw my food out and slapped me numerous times until my face was numb, then I fell to the floor and begged for them to stop but they started kicking me hard in my stomach. When they left I had some blood in my face and felt like I couldn't breathe in that moment I thought I was going to die but, I didn't.
Since that day my life has been pure hell, from the shit of school to the shit of my house. Through the time I also developed depression, I found out because one day I felt like my insides were screaming out for help while I was laying on my bed looking at the ceiling. I knew I needed help but my mom was no use so I told my sister, she took me to a support group which was full of people that have some mental illness. There I met my best and only friend Cara Holmes. Since the first day I got there she was so nice to me, her and my sister got to be the only people that actually care about me, they make me feel alive.
But of course depression is a bitch and when it hits me, it hits me hard. So that day at the Park when I talked to Imogen I asked for cigarettes because I've been alone and sad for so long that I just want this pain to be gone and I think the best way out is death, so I went to cigarettes for a little more help in my self destruction.
