So I've realized that there's a lot of shit in this book that makes no sense like Casey going to school when she's 22, so Now just pretend like she's in college please.
Casey's POV
I fell asleep at around 8pm on the floor yesterday after my little breakdown. I woke up around at 11pm to my mom yelling at me to "turn off the fucking music" since I did fell asleep with my music blasting
After that I couldn't fall back asleep. I was up all night just listening to music on my headphones and smoking. I probably had around 4 or 5 cigarettes last night
Right now it's 8:39am and the only sleep I got was an hour which was from 7 to 8am. I finally decide to get up from a bed after my long night. I clean up the used cigarettes and tissues I left yesterday in the floor.
When I am done with that I open my door and head towards the bathroom when my mom stops me right in front of the door. I just look at her and hope that'll make her move away. I kept my mouth shut because I know that she would smell the cigarettes in my breath.
I just stand there with my hair in every direction and my face looking completely fucked while I stare at my mom. She looks at me and you can see the hate in her eyes, the hate she has towards me
She takes a step forward, grabs my neck with her hand and tilts my head up. Her face comes close to mine and she says "Open your mouth" I just continue to look at her with a blank expression in my face and of course, my mouth shut.
Her eyes squint in anger and she slaps me.
Hard
She knows that every time she does that I open my mouth a little and breathe in and out. She takes that opportunity to smell my breath and then she slaps me again.
"You piece of fucking shit. You worthless cunt, I knew you wouldn't give this shit up" she yells "But you know what I'm not fucking saying it again, hell no" "I'm going to let you fucking die you piece of shit" she laughs loudly and dryly
"Do you hear me?"
"You're going to die, and when you do you'll be alone because look around honey"
"You're fucked up, Ain't nobody gonna put up with your bullshit"
"No one cares about you"
She walks away and I rush into the bathroom quickly locking the door behind me. I clench my fist and try to control my anger right now but I can't so I grab the lamp and bang it in the mirror till it's completely shattered. I grab the curtains from the shower and rip them off I grab the lamp again and start hitting and throwing random things around.
I breathe in and out heavily with the lamp on my hands and some blood from the broken glass. I let the lamp fall to the floor and I start walking towards the corner next to the mirror pieces. I sit on the floor and begin to think about what my mom said. I start crying and sobbing because I know that what she said is true.
Worthless
You're going to die
Alone
No one cares about you
Those words kept repeating themselves on my mind
I bring my knees up to my face and put my arms around my legs while rocking back and forth in the cold tile floor.
She's right
I'm not worth living
----
After that incident I changed into some decent clothes, wash my face, comb my hair and went to the kitchen were my mom was cooking for herself and my sister. I grab a banana and a bottle of Nesquik chocolate milk from the refrigerator.
I walk back to my room, put my food in my nightstand and head towards my closet looking for my suitcase
I'm fucking leaving on my own before she tells me too.
I put the suitcase on top of my bed and just start taking things out of my closet and cabinets.
----
I review everything I have one more time in my head
My phone, tablet, headphones, earbuds, speakers, laptop, Shoes, shirts, pants, leggings, skirts, tank tops, shoes, socks, underwear, hoodies, cardigans, sweaters, coats, posters, jewelry, scarfs, hats, hair products, make up, stuffed animals, and personal bullshit like deodorant, nail polish, face wash, lotion, etc.
I also have some other random shit in my backpack like candles, my bed and pillow covers along with my blankets and pillows, some Christmas lights, pills, cigarettes, lighter, tissues, mouthwash, toothbrush, soap, pictures, my mug, some water bottles, and other shit that I don't really need but I don't care because if I leave I'm taking all my stuff with me, ALL of it.
I mean shit I even have my yoga mat and fucking curtains with me. I take my phone from the suitcase and put it in my pocket. I put my backpack on, grab my suitcase and walk out the door. I spot my sister and mom in the living room watching TV
"Bye Imogen" I say and continue walking. She hurries towards me
"Casey what's happening" she says
"I'll explain later" I say "Now I got to go"
She looks at my suitcases and then looks back at me with watery eyes.
"Y-you're leaving" a tear escapes her eyes. I hug her tightly and shed some tears myself.
"I promise I will keep in contact" I look at her "Sisters by birth and friends by heart remember?" I giggle
"This is not the time for Liv and Maddie" She smiles and laughs a little herself (I don't even know if I said it right lol sorry)
I look back at her seriously and give her one last warm and tight hug
"I see you're leaving" my mom says
"Yeah finally your dream come true" I say sarcastically
"Wow even before leaving you're still a piece of shit" she says "Where are you gonna go anyway? The dumpster" she laughs
"I think that anywhere is better than this house with you" I say
"Well go on then, leave. But one thing let me make clear" she says "When you come back begging me to stay here again I will say 'I told you so' and laugh at your stupid self"
"There's is no way in god's name I'm coming back to this house again. I prefer to burn in the depths of hell than to step in this hell hole again" I bite back and open the door
"You piece of shit you'll regret this" my mom says and stares at me coldly
"Fuck you" I spat coldly and throw the door in her face
I walk outside and spot Cara's car. I hop in the car and give her a quick hug
"Are you ready" she says
I put on my seatbelt, look out the window at the apartment buildings and breath out. I feel like all this weight in my shoulders is gone
"Yeah let's go" we drive away and this time I don't look back at the building I just look at the path I have ahead.
I don't really like this chapter but oh well
