Love of tomorrow

The After

I wake up in a hospital room with light blue walls and the smell of disinfectant. "She's waking up, go get the nurse."

"Why hello there Katherine, we are going to run some more tests to see what happened and why you stopped breathing okay?" his voice was crisp while he flipped through my chart. I couldn't say a word I had in my brain but I couldn't get the words out. I started to panic standing up out of the hospital bed as I walked over to the bathroom.

As I do so the doctors hold me down trying to ask me questions. I pulled off my IV and ran out of their arms into the bathroom, what is going on why can't I speak?! Then, I threw up blood. One of the nurses grabbed me and got the doctor. The nurse put my IV back in and laid me in bed. I knocked the nurse off of me so I could go sit by the window in my hospital room. They were silent, so silent you could hear a pin drop. I just couldn't help It everything was new I just needed a moment to myself but- oh never mind.

Everything had a cloudy effect to it kinda like an Ora-.  I could feel everything get darker as my eyes rolled into the back of my head. I started seizing on the floor. Bella ran to me and the doctors pulled her off to turn me on my side. Once they got me stable, they gave me medication so I would stop seizing. It tasted of rotten cherries that covered my mouth numb. It was around 8:00 pm when the doctors and nurses left the room so I could "sleep". Bella was sitting in the chair past out in a bright blue dress that fit her perfectly, I tried talking but still, only air.

I hate this. Bella was sleeping like an angel, with a single string of drool falling off of her chin. I don't understand why I feel this way about her. I think I am In love with Bella! I glare over at the singular piece of paper on the table next to my hospital bed. I try to write what I can with the hand that works. My other hand is bonded to the bed, why they think I'm going to try to escape I have no Idea. In the worst handwriting I have ever done I scribble: "Bella if anything happens to me I want you to finally know, I am in love with you. I hope one day you will find this note or I will give it to you, you will feel the same."

I put it back in the drawer underneath the bible that looks kinda crusty. I flip through the pages even though the book is probably older than the hospital. It still smells brand new. With an odor that reeks of cedar and ink. Just like how my father's study smelled. I can still remember the leathery feel of the desk and how my fingers fit the indentations of the chairs that I slowly made, every time I got in trouble and had to listen to his childhood stories that I knew weren't true. The only reason I was scared of him was because he loved to take his snake engraved knife to my hand, like it was a game.

I honestly despised him but when I would try to stand up to him he would tap his pocket where he kept the knife. I opened my eyes with the bible and paper in my hand. I knew I accidentally fell asleep because it was 6:30 am. I prayed as I looked over that she would be asleep and lucky she was. I quickly grabbed both items and put them in the drawer, as I shut the drawer it slammed with a loud thud. I pretended to be asleep as Bella woke up she wiped her mouth and looked at me pretending to be asleep. I guess I actually fell asleep because when I opened my eyes she was gone and I had a sticky ring of chapstick on my forehead and a permanent smile stuck to my face.

I stood up and was going to walk over to the bathroom when I stopped abruptly because my hand was cuffed to the bed. I looked around the room for a pair of scissors so I could try to cut this plastic cuff. I saw a butter knife and stretched my arm as far as it would go and still couldn't reach. I did the only thing I could think of and I kicked the knife down towards me. I grabbed it and cut my cuff. I hid the knife under my pillow and I walked into the bathroom getting cleaned up. I was going to use the bathroom when I realized I had a catheter. I ran cold water over my face looking at the dark circles under my eyes and the 5 stitches on my right cheek I look like a wreck. As I walk out of the door who do I see in the doorway? " Dad?" I pause staring at him hoping that I am hallucinating. The room starts to get dark and I start shaking again just like what happened in the snow. I passed out and had another seizure.