aw god damnit i have to study

day 1088

i have to study so much its overwhelming.

chemistry, physics, languages, maths... i just want some rest.

i dont even remember being as stressed and exhausted as today.

i feel lonely and unloved.

i have been making little to no progress recently.

i dont leave the facility; i spent a lot of time making my forest larger.

i should have been studying but im too lazy.

i hate school so bad it hurts. i dont even care about getting good grades anymore.

i also feel pretty terrible with my body. my mind keeps telling me im not good enough. i constantly feel the need to improve, even at the risk of my health.

sharing all of this makes me feel pathetic, but also soothes the pain a little bit.

im sure it will eventually get better. i just have to wait.

sorry for this vent post.