Skybreak [not to be continued]

XIX

The cold wall leeched its non-existent heat onto my back as I stood, sobs raking themselves through my cold and still body, pressed against the white tiles of the tube station interior.

The lifeless, unblinking eyes of the girl stayed clear in my mind and I was unable to react to the situation around me. The station was rapidly emptying, but still I sat alone on the hard ground sobbing. The other people on the train split into two groups: ones who were frustrated that yet would be late for wherever they were going, and the others in shock because of the turn of events.

Around me the paramedics worked, receiving a black body bag from the cupboards on the side of the corridor. Confusion crossed my mind to why they kept body bags in the tube stations. Was suicide on the tracks a common thing? The station had been declared closed as they tried to reach the family of the victim; her jewellery and belongs still piled up on the platform floor.

My body was shaking badly, an effect of the crying and the shock kicking it - and I felt truly alone. Someone should have noticed the signs. No one just takes off all their accessories (especially metal ones) and leaves them on the platform. Had I not been playing, then maybe someone would have seen her: saved her.

Suddenly, a thin and warm arm draped itself around my shaking form and pulled me in. They were attempting to save me from my state. I tried to push them away, but they just held me closer. Giving up on the fight, I gasped and lay my head against their chest as I continued to sob. I could have prevented this from happening. Had I not been playing someone would have noticed.

Incoherent words flowed with my tears, but all I could hear was a repeating voice of reassuring comments: 'shh, it's okay, it's not your fault'. They were softly being spoken by the person who was holding me together. I pushed them away as I wiped my eyes, and tried to stand up; being careful not to knock them. I was just stumbling to my feet when the warm hand of my helper lifted my chin up to look in my eyes. I stared back (not breaking eye contact) into the familiar blue. A sign of recognition must have run across my face, as Luke began to talk as I tried to straighten up and get away. I stumbled to my feet and attempted to run but Luke's long fingers wound themselves tightly around my wrist.

"Gray..." He trailed off, his gaze trailing up and down my crumpled state. My face was blotchy from the tears I had been crying, my clothes screwed up from how I had been sitting and my guitar discarded but still in my line of sight. He began to start talking again but I cut him off.

"Luke." I softly spoke his name while looking straight into his eyes.
"I guess I should come clean now; there's no point lying any more." I admitted to Luke, his brow furrowed in confusion. "You don't know me. You never have, I've just been feeding you lies, but now I think I need to come clean and explain and it starts by saying my name isn't Gray."

~

Luke and I sat in Alaska's flat with mugs in our hands. My guitar had been dumped next to us as we sat side by side on the sofa. I was still in shock and a confused Luke had his arm around me.

Alaska was at university and we were in the flat, alone. The tears on my face had stopped their flow several minutes prior to where we were now and I will myself to answer all of Luke's unspoken questions.

"Um... Hi Luke." I started off, thinking maybe an introduction might be a good place to start. "My name is Sky Winters, I'm seventeen years old and currently rent a room off one of my distant relatives," I gestured to my room off the lounge. "After my parent's kicked me out."

Breaking my speech, I glanced at Luke to carefully watch his reaction. His face was blank, little emotion showing anywhere but the slight anger in his eyes. I was hardly surprised; all he knew about me was lies, lies, lies.

I continued: "About three months ago, my friend died. Her name was Rosa and we'd been best friends since we were babies so it took a pretty big toll on me. It was so sudden, I was texting her and as I waited for a reply, a drunk driver swerved and hit her. Dead on impact." A single tear rolled down my cheek as Luke's poker face turned to one of pity.

"Gray, I'm sorry, I didn't know..." Luke rambled on as I silently allowed the tears to fall. I was doing so much crying today.

"My parents kicked me out after I let my life die with her. That's how I ended up here. Alaska let me stay with her, but its only a temporary arrangement - I can't stay any longer then I have too."

"Gray...." Luke trailed off again, at a loss for words.

"Gray." I chuckled at the nickname. "Rosa was one for making up weird names, its funny that it was only that one that stuck." Luke's confused expression let me to continue my explanation.

"At Primary School, I was about 4, Rosa named me Gray for two reasons. The first of which being as my name was Sky, and the weather in Britain is terrible and always grey and overcast. The second, because of my eye colour. I guess it's changed now, but they used to be a startling grey, like thunder clouds. So even as we changed, the name stuck. And I'm forever going to have that reminder of her attached to me."

The pity, clear on his face, shocked me and I was soon to complain, telling him not to pity me. He quickly realised I wanted to leave the sensitive subject and began to talk about his old life on Australia, and about his older brothers, Ben and Jack, who were going on to do things 'much more manly' than singing (his words, not mine). His laugh and carefree voice let me drift away and almost made me forget why he was here in the first place. Almost. It still lingered there like dense smoke after a bonfire. It wasn't going to leave soon.