Skybreak [not to be continued]

XIV

I stared at Luke, his bold declaration had me shocked and my lips were slightly parted in a gasping expression. I stared into his eyes, trying to understand this boy who's piercing blue eyes had captivated my thoughts, which were now utterly distorted and disorganised.

Luke began to realise I was uncomfortable (the atmosphere had suddenly dropped and I wasn’t only me that felt awkward and out of place) and dropped his gaze. "I'm sorry." He muttered a quiet apology to me.

"Why?" I retaliated. "There's no need to be sorry. You wrote a song and if it was loosely based on me then so be it. I just want to know why you did it. I don’t need a long or complicated explanation, and cut me the rubbish – I just want to know why.”

It was now his turn to look shocked and his bandmates' gazes were averted to his answer. "You said about how you moved to London because your parents kicked you out but you didn't know anyone, or where anything was and that you were struggling to adjust to new life here. I tried to comprehend how you were feeling, and I turned you into a character in a song I was writing with Calum. You were affected by your parent's decision and in the song, we were getting you to do something more reckless: unpredictable. That's what it's about." He and Cal both stared at me; their eyes burning into mine as his words processed in my head. Calum's earlier words repeated themselves, echoing around my head; "Luke really likes you", and I started to believe Calum's words were true, but I wasn't in London for love, but for music. And that meant I could leave anything and I didn't want to get attached.

"Thank you," I breathed as a response to Luke. "It really is beautiful, and I’m honoured that you felt my story worthy enough to be sewn into a song. But please, let's play some stuff I know because I do want to sing some stuff with you - and you can teach me your songs later."

We picked up our instruments and continued to play, as if the previous conversation had never happened. The familiar tune of Teenage Dirtbag flew beautifully out of Ashton's mouth as began to sing, the rest of us joining in. It was amazing, and I was just relieved to have found a place where I fitted in, in the foreign land of undiscovered dreams.

~

Stumbling out of the door, my laughter echoing off the stars that shone brightly in the darkening sky, I waved to the boys in their house before heading towards the tube station.

The rain was falling lightly against the pavement and a few drops had united to run down my face, and guitar case. They reflected the light of the street lamps, sending tiny rainbows everywhere while they glittered like stars. I briefly stopped to admire the natural beauty: it looked like thousands of tiny stars were falling from the sky, and it was beautiful.

The clock chimed and reminded me that it was nearly eleven o'clock and I had managed to spend the whole day with the little Australian band as we derped around and playing music. They taught me a few of their original songs, and in return I taught them a few of my favourite songs that they were unfamiliar with. Remembering to give them my number, we also exchanged Twitter usernames and various other social media links; they introduced me to Keek, the app they had been arguing over earlier in the day.

As I roamed the empty stations, my mind began to fill with inspiration to write a song. If Cal and Luke had been able to write a song, then theoretically I would be able to too?

The possibilities filled my mind. I had written pieces of music before, as part of my music coursework, so if I just wrote some words and found a tune to go with them - I would have a song. I hummed a random melody as I awaited the train; the platform was empty as I began to mumbled words out loud.

The lyrics of other songs mixed themselves around inside my head and the words I spoke were neither coherent nor understandable. It was late and I wasn’t even making sense to myself. Fortunately the empty station allowed me to ramble on as if there was no tomorrow. I even caught myself singing the words to Unpredictable, the song that (in a way) was mine.

The train pulled up, and I swapped my jarred speech for my headphones, and hummed along to the random collection of songs that came on. I was alone in the carriage as we travelled fast: away from the boys and towards my flat. The rattle of the carriage was loud enough to be caught over the sound of my music and I turned up the volume in a vain attempt to disguise it. However, the rattle was constant and I was unable to cover it. Instead, my hazy mind began to embrace it and use it as a metronome, a drum beat, to the songs I was listening to. Swaying sleepily from side to side, my grip tightened on my guitar case as the train slowed down to arrive at the stop where I would be leaving.

It was a hassle dragging my guitar halfway across London, but I knew that there would be a warm bed in a cosy but eccentric little flat which was awaiting me at my destination, and I kept walking through the nearly empty streets. The stars shone brightly above, and the moon was clearly presented as a crescent in the sky; it was situated directly above the London Eye and reflected back so much light, it was almost a star in itself. Ignoring the slowly falling rain, my eyes focused on the star marking the right shoulder of Orion, I walked in line with it: leading me straight back to my home.