ice and sugar dust (alex turner fanfic)

Chapter Six

"Chlo, I can't believe that you're going to be the first one to do it!"

"Will you shut up?!" Chloe hissed, covering Beth's mouth and looking around if anyone had heard her and was now looking at them.

Beth giggled, sticking her tongue out and licking Chloe's hand.

"Eww!" She called, pulling her hand back. "I really should've learned by now, I can't tell you anything." She rolled her eyes. "And what do you mean you can't believe it?"

"So, you've been thinking about it!" Hazel said, pointing at her.

"I ... what..." Chloe muttered, now having trapped herself. "No one said I was going to do anything."

"It!" Beth chimed back in.

"I tell you we were ... making out and you come to this conclusion" Chloe sighed, shaking her head at her two best friends before looking around the schoolyard again to make sure no one was close enough to listen in on her conversation, especially no one from their form, and especially, not Alex.

"And because you're so modest about it, I can't believe it" Beth explained.

"There's nothing to believe. Nothing's happening."

"You don't want it to?" Hazel asked. "You think you're not ready?"

Chloe sighed, fiddling with the sleeves of her sweater. Of course she'd thought about it, there was not a time of day she didn't think about Alex. He was the only thing on her mind constantly, when she woke up in the morning and when she went to sleep at night. "I don't know" she said. "I'm nervous."

"Of course you're nervous. That's normal. And you shouldn't ... do it if you're not ready ... if it comes to that, of course" Beth said.

"You think he wants it to ... come to that?" Chloe asked unsurely.

"He's a bloke" Hazel said. "Of course."

"What if ... what if he's ready and I'm not?"

"He's not that kind of guy, you know" Beth assured her. "I think he'd understand and he wouldn't put any pressure on you."

She bit her lip. "Do you guys know if he's done it before? With ... anyone else?"

"I could find out" Beth shrugged.

"No, no, then I won't have you all over it but also all the guys ... and then he'll know I'm talking ... thinking about it and..."

"Discreetly, of course" Hazel said. "Bring it up casually amongst the guys, they'll talk about themselves and maybe mention Alex ... if he's done it before."

"If he has, it's going to be..."

"At least he'll know what he's doing then" Hazel shrugged. "I mean, I think we'd know if he's done it with like ... loads of girls..."

Chloe sighed, nodding. "I guess you're right."

The school bell rang and they gathered their things. Beth and Hazel began chatting about the homework, but Chloe was lost in thought now. She knew they were just curious, they wanted to talk about it and she would too if it was one of them, but it was her and she was confused, she was nervous. They weren't pressuring her, of course, but she felt pressured nonetheless and she was worried that it would change something between her and Alex.

It worried her especially because today, Alex was supposed to come home with her after school. Her parents wouldn't come back until the evening and her sister was away for the week. And now that she'd talked with the others, she realised what kind of impression it possibly gave Alex that she was inviting him under these circumstances. Maybe now he was expecting something.