Bad Luck Baby (Mafia Novel) COMPLETED

Chapter thirty-four

"We are all bad in someone's story"

"Let me the fuck out!", I scream at the white, metal door. My fists go flying against it, while I let out ear-piercing screams. "Please, let me out!", I beg pathetically. I cannot physically take this anymore. My body is shutting down, along with my mind. Every passing minute I find it harder to breath, to live, to think. The silence is overbearing, and I have never loathed silence as much as I do now. The only sound that is heard, are my high-pitched screams.

Desperately, I yell for them to hear me. But it is of no use. Like everyone else in this world, they just don't care. Nobody cares. These days, every single person I come across is just sick and evil-minded. If not to me, then to somebody else. Myself included. I killed her. The trait she wanted to protect me from is catching up with me. Evil is catching up with me.

My eyes are hurting of the bright white surrounding me. I want to see colour. I need to see it. This feels like I'm dead, if not for the agonizing pain on my back reminding me that I'm not. Maybe I don't deserve to live happily, maybe this is my punishment for murdering her. I have never been a religious person, but maybe this is God's way to make me suffer hell on earth. After all, Giovani took me after I did what I did, not before. One thing for sure, I won't survive being here for much longer. Maybe physically, but mentally I will be long gone.

Right now, my insides are burning, my thoughts are scratching at the edge of my mind to come out, to talk to someone. I need to talk to someone. A dry chuckle leaves my mouth. Never in my whole life would I have thought that I would want to talk to someone. I have been more of a loner, except for with John. The motherfucker that put me here. I desperately want to kill him when I escape here, but I don't want to get punished again. What if I am punished again? I cannot endure this sort of thing twice. But should he not be punished too? Along with Giovani. It will only be fair for me to punish them. Somebody has got to do it.

I look at my butchered fists from slamming against the door and get an idea. Colour. I need something sharp. Beginning to look around, I realise that they thought of that already. But that is perfectly fine, I will just do it the old-fashioned way. I stumble to the chair and let my broken body sit down on it. Even when I come out, he made me too ugly for anybody to see. Damaged goods, is all I am now. Nothing more than an empty bag of life.

I look at my arms with a frown. Should I do it? Will that not make it worse? Stay strong, Sarah. Do what ever is necessary to mentally survive. And with that thought, I begin to scratch. The sharp end of my nail scraping off thin layers of skin. I squeeze my eyes shut from the stinging feeling but continue scratching. Under normal circumstances, I would never do this to myself again, but well- this is not a normal circumstance. Prying my eyes open, I look at the red dots drippling off my arm. I sweep it off with my finger, onto the white table. More. I need to see more. A spark ignites in my body by the sight of the first colour I see in days.

The squeaking noise of the hatch opening hauls me out my thoughts. I look at the door and see a plate of food being shoved in. Someone is there. "Help me", I croak out. "Please, don't let me sit here any longer. Tell Giovani I've learned my lesson", I sob while crawling to the open hatch. The pain of the wounds on my back is killing me with all the moving, but I need out.

The person on the other side is closing the hatch again. No, no, no. "I'm bleeding out", I blurt. A bit overexaggerating, but who cares. I need the human contact. I need Giovani. He is the only one that can get me out of here. The person hesitates to close it. "Your family is on their way", he rushes out in a whim. His deep voice tells me he's serious. The beating of my heart increases by his words. They are? "Who are you? When are they coming?", I ask. The hatch closes with a loud bang, leaving me alone again.