Minutes Before The Miracle

CHAPTER - 34

Thought of the chapter:-
Tears are words the mouth can't say, nor can the heart bear.
      - Joshua Wisenbaker

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STEVEN

"Don't," I say sharply when I observe a thick line of tears on the bottom lid of Emma's eyes, threatening to cascade. She draws a deep breath and rubs her eyes which has become red and puffy.

Her deep hazel rake over my being and then, she flabbergasts me. Keeping her head heavily on my chest, she loops her arms around my waist. Her eyes meet mine, urging me to continue.

"Handing me a black plastic bag, the lady who had interrogated me in the morning issued a couple of whispered instructions to her burly sidekick and commanded me to follow him. As he led the way, I noticed a middle-aged man in a surgeon's coat walking out of the house and speaking to the lady. With a small torch lightening the path, we continued trudging along the uneven roads. I did not dare to look into the bag and kept it at arm's length due to the pungent stench emanating out of it.

'Walk a little more and fling it off far away,' the man instructed me, pointing at the bag when we came to a stop in the deep woods. I did as I was told and when the bag was high up in the air, I saw something flying out of it. Squinting my eyes, I tried to get a better view but before I could do it properly, the bag and its contents disappeared into darkness and the guy harshly tugged me along.

I kept a track of the twists and turns of the way, thinking of the object that fell off. It quite resembled a ball but somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew that it was anything but a ball.

Just as we were about to enter the house, he told me,'Just a teeny tiny warning. Take it or leave it. Do not look into the bag ever lest nightmares will haunt you once the sun sets.' Saying so, he walked off, throwing a dirty chuckle and I stood there in a state of utter confusion and probably fear.

And that was it.

I was given a tiny portion of meal everyday and once in a while, I was told a throw a black bag into the utter wilderness of the forest. I never saw what it contained. The excuse I give myself is that it was the foul odour preventing me but somewhere buried inside, I knew that it was terror surfacing in its most primal form, whenever I tried to peek inside. Terror that knew no boundaries. Terror of the inevitable.

But that wasn't as difficult as my nights. The nights were horrific. I had to bear bellows and moans of pain reverberating through the walls. The screams of subjugation thumped constantly inside my ears. Multiple nights, I would put my hands over my ears to shut them out but it never helped. Ever experienced the kind of feeling when you want to let out the storms raging within you but even the tears refuse to fall? That was exactly how I felt. I was undefended and weak and I could do nothing about it..."

I pause to take a breather. Emma presses her head into my chest and her arms tighten around me. I have no idea as to why I am pulling her into my hellhole but she feels like a ray of hope, flickering at the end of a deep, deep tunnel; an oasis in the middle of the ruthless desert.

I know that if I don't take it out now, I won't be able to do it again. Ever.

"Months rolled by. I would see the young girls who I met the first day, every now and then. And each time, I saw those eyes, a gnawing sense of guilt ate me up.

It was one of those days. I was told that I had to do my job that night. The bruiser of the man had stopped leading the way by now but I could feel his eyes on me everytime I went alone into the woods. I knew that I was being watched. I knew that I wasn't trusted. But that morning, I couldn't find that man doing his regular patrols which was strange. I let the matter slide, thinking that he might have gone somewhere.

Night fell. I was about to be served dinner when the old lady dragged the same young girl who was bawling her eyes out. The man in the surgeon's coat followed them into a room. She was shrieking in a tongue I wasn't aware of and all of a sudden, the door closed with a thud. A trio of girls were talking in hushed voices. One of them was crying, the other's eyes were damp and the third pair of eyes held fear.

Someone put food on my plate but I couldn't even down a single morsel, with the occasional screams rising up in the air. Leaving my plate untouched, I ran out of the door and stood outside, gasping for a bout of cool air. The night was perilously calm and when I looked at the sky, it stated back at me, dark and moonless. And though it should have meant nothing more than a moonless night, it felt like a bad omen.

After what seemed like a lifetime, the heart-wrenching wails subsided and the door re-opened. The doctor, the one in the surgeon's coat gestured me and shoved a black bag into my hands, similar to the many I had seen before... and disposed. I clasped it, keeping it away from my nostrils, drew out a little torch and switched it on.

As I started towards the familiar gloomy forest, my gaze accidently fell towards the window. If I had a single chance to reverse back one thing in my entire life, it would definitely be that moment. I witnessed those deep eyes. I had felt the gaze of the girl many times previously but I could never be sure if she really looked at me. However, at that moment, I knew it with every fibre of my being that her glassy gaze was directed at me. And what would I not have done to avoid it. What would I not do to forget it..." I trail off. Flashes of nightmare prance across me and I close my eyes, summoning the energy to continue.

"A heavy drop of tear cascaded down her sunken cheek the moment her eyes fell on the bag I was holding. Then she looked at me again, her eyes holding hatred and accusation of the unknown but there were also streaks of helplessness gleaming, which by then, I was accustomed to. But there was a third emotion. She was pleading me. I would have traded everything to know what her eyes wanted to communicate and I tried too. It was so harsh that my efforts led me to nowhere. Just blank.

I was sure that something horrendous had happened.

Not being able to stand her piercing gaze, I continued on my way and when I looked back at her again, she closed her eyes, making my steps falter 'cause I knew right that instant that she gave up."

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