skinny love | shyland

thirteen

ryland's pov

the crispness of the next monday morning soaked through my skin as i peeled off my jacket and hung it outside the office door. unusually, it appeared that i wasn't the first in this morning, and having not responded to any attempts of shane's communication since i'd left him sat on the patio three days ago, i'd come without coffee. despite the lights being bright enough to make my eyes curl back into their sockets at such an early hour, the room was empty, and even though i knew exactly where he would be, my heart still raced with an anxious temperament at the thought of it.

the weather, pleasantly bright for a mid-october morning, warmed the concrete flooring of the smoking area i found shane in. he was clad in an all black suit i'd never seen before, sat on the railings in a long sleeve button down, along with a jacket rolled up at the sleeves and a tie nowhere to be seen. the top two buttons were undone and a few chest hairs could be spotted if you scrutinised his attire close enough.

"i was just trying to decide what colour to make your missing persons poster." he drawled as i set foot outside, an unlit cigarette balanced on his lower lip. from his jacket pocket he pulled out a black lighter and brought the flame up to the end. "blue would compliment your eyes but after your disappearing act this weekend i nearly forgot what they looked like."

embarrassed, i felt my cheeks heat up, recalling the two texts he had left in the last forty eight hours. the first one, which pinged through moments before i'd desperately tried to prove how it was conor at the root of the infatuation i felt, read simply 'let me know when you get home safe.' in a panic, i'd deleted the text bubble, knowing that the single message would cause hell on earth were it to be read aloud. the second, at 3:47am, when i had been fast asleep with the weight of an arm heavy across my stomach, made the goosebumps on my arms prick up with adrenaline, hairs standing on end. 'my bed feels cold.' something about his bluntness sent a chill down my spine.

"some would call that attachment issues." i quipped back, forcing down the thought of my saturday afternoon being spent trying to salvage what was left of my office notes and trashed desk.

"where's my coffee?" he teased, ignoring my insult and nudging me with his foot. a puff of smoke floated over my head and i scoffed, staring down at my shoes. with a smirk he reached for my hand and pulled me a little closer to him, before leaning his face down from the elevated height of the railings and leaving our noses just an inch apart. "hi."

"hi." i repeated, allowing him to trace his finger down my cheekbone and leaving his thumb to land on my bottom lip.he dragged it towards my chin before letting it bounce back into place, pressing down softly. the smell of cigarettes wafted between us. i trembled in anticipation, ignoring the pit building in my stomach and the way my chest was rising and falling faster than before.

"relax, i'm not going to kiss you." he muttered with a smirk, pulling back to place a cigarette in my mouth. heat crept up onto my cheeks. "don't think father of the year would be too happy about that, would he? how did he react when he found out he's sharing his prize possession?"

the demeaning way he spoke about conor often irritated me. he mocked his protectiveness by labelling it as controlling, often doing the same with his parenting skills. we hadn't even discussed the bruises on my wrist that were now nothing but a mere green whisper, blending into my skin under the fine hairs of my arm.

once he'd lit my cigarette, i distanced myself from him and rested against the closed fire-exit door. his touch had left my heart racing in an uncomfortably fast manner and the thought of him running his finger over any part of my body again sent my mind into overdrive.

"i didn't— i didn't say anything to him." i answered quietly, removing the filter from my mouth to let out a cloud of smoke. it hitched in my throat and burned uncomfortably. "he thinks your girlfriend let me stay."