if I were born again

what would I change?....

I often think about what in my life I would change
If I were borne again
I wouldn’t change who my parents are
But maybe their circumstances:
They would work well paid jobs
With flexible hours
So they didn’t have to stress about money
And would have the time do more enjoyable things

I wouldn’t change the number of siblings I have
If I were born again
But I would change our dynamic
Our brother would want to spend time with us
We'd get on better and do more with eachother
So no one would feel left out
We'd comfort or help eachother
If one of us was sad
two would comfort
And one would confront the problem (or vise versa)

I wouldn’t change my autism
If I were borne again
But I would change when I knew about it
And how people saw me
So I wouldn’t feel so out-of-place
So my mum wouldn’t blame herself
Fore the fears I have
Or have to defend or stand up for me
Or fight and argue on my behalf (as much)

I wouldn’t change the people I’ve met
But maybe the order in which I met them
And how long they stayed
So no matter what I would have at least one friend
Who was there for me and who I could be there for
I would never have to sit alone in silence

These changes are small and subtle
But they would make me (and those around me)
Happier
And in truth that's all I want
If I were borne again
I would be borne Happier
No different to the girl you seen now
Except for the size of her smile
And the smiles of those closest to her