What We Become | Book Two

13. Pieces

The dark clouds hadn't lifted as I pushed open the door to mine and Em's house. It had been emptier without Zoe, quieter almost and I felt the lack of her presence every day. She'd been family and her absence made me question whether I was ruining the lives of people around me.

"Ben!" I heard Sophia call out as she ran towards the house.

Instinctively, I squeezed my eyes shut. I didn't know how to talk to her about something like this. I couldn't explain it to her. She wouldn't understand.

"Not now, Sophia." I shook my head. "It's not a good time."

"I saw you carrying Em. What happened to her?" she asked and I felt my body stiffen as my fingertips brushed the door handle. "Was she sleeping?"

"Yeah," Chris replied for me. "She was just tired. Why don't you head back home for now?" he added.

"It's boring there."

"You know what?" he tried to sound excited. "Lo was telling me how she'd love to see some of your toys. Why don't you go get them for her?"

"Okay!" she nodded and turned on her heels, taking off toward her house.

"Children are too easy," Chris rolled his eyes as he turned. "What are we doing here? I thought we were wasting time sticking around?"

"We were," I replied, heading up the stairs. My gaze lingered on the kitchen counter where I'd patched up Em when we first arrived. "I just need to pick something up first," I added.

My room had become ours, just like the house. It felt better having someone to share it with. It didn't feel as lonely like before. Zoe used to talk in her sleep and I used to hear the mumbled retellings of her dreams through the walls. When mum had died, I couldn't bring myself to fall asleep, to remember the look in her eyes as she slipped away in front of me.

Everything seemed to be on hold as Chris lingered in the doorway like an overprotective parent. Moving to my side of the bed, I opened the drawers where Em had found her red book. There was something else in the drawer that day, something she'd missed. I was thankful she had. At the time, I'd wanted to avoid all questions about it. I dug my hand in and pulled out the small black hard drive from the back.

"Ben... What is that?" Chris asked, leaning to get a closer look. "Tell me that's not what I think it is."

I turned to face him and my fingers twitched over the drive, realising its importance. "It might be."

"The whole time?" he exclaimed, his expression hardening. "You've had that the whole time."

I lifted my hands in surrender. "I didn't completely lie," I replied, knowing there was nothing I could say that would calm him. "I did delete it from the computer."

"Not before putting it on that!" he interjected, pointing a finger toward my clenched fist. "Think of all the people you could've saved!"

"I don't know if this is going to work, Chris," I admitted. "I don't even know what's on here because I never got the chance to look. Surprisingly, everything was a bit chaotic at the time."

"But now, when it affects you, you're willing to try?" he scowled. "Why do you get to have that power? That choice?"

"Believe me, I never wanted it."

He shook his head and his furious eyes narrowed. "But you had it."

"People are looking at you to save everyone. What would you do?" I asked him.

"I'd step up," he said, his ears reddening.

"You don't get it," I exhaled, shaking my head. "That's what everyone thinks they'd do... When it actually happens, everything is on the line. It's different."