What We Become | Book Two

26. Alone

The temperature had dropped, though I felt almost nothing as a cold wind blew around me on the balcony overlooking the compound. It was the sky that had greyed now, dulling the surrounding landscape of the facility.

Falling for Em had been like walking into a house and realising I was home. The familiar scent that came with it and all its warmth like a fireplace in winter. Her soft words had a way of wrapping around me like a blanket and making me feel safe again.

Before I met her, I dreaded the sunrise. It meant another day of trying to survive, more struggles and complications. After, I found myself looking for the glimpse of light on the horizon because it meant another day I'd get to spend with her, to find out more about her, and just hear her voice. I'd never met anyone who was so determined to find a purpose and meaning amongst everything.

She became my purpose and then, just like that, she was gone. 

The sound of quiet steps came from behind but I didn't bother to look around. I knew it wasn't Donut who still stood inside, the footsteps were too light. Even if I did turn, the only person I wanted to see wouldn't be there.

"I'm busy," I said.

They seemed to ignore my refusal for company and in my peripheral, I saw the pointed features and dark hair step into view. She gave the flicker of a guilty smile as she leaned forward on the railing beside me.

"Busy?" Apollo's tone was one of sympathy as her hair got caught by the wind.

"What do you want?"

"I came to see how you were," she said. "Nobody's seen you all day. Not since Will told you the news... Believe it or not, there are some people here that actually still care about you."

"News," I exhaled a breathy laugh. "That's what that was?"

"I'm sorr—"

"I don't need anybody else apologising to me, Lo," I stated. "What are you still doing here?"

"Making sure you're still alive?" she half-joked.

"Well, job done," I snapped. "Still alive."

She paused, hesitating on her next words. "We're on the same team, you know? I know we were a little rough at the start but it's been a long time since that."

I lifted my head from the railing and was met with bright eyes. "No," I said. "We're not on the same team. We never were. We never have been."

She exhaled, glancing to where Donut stood behind the glass. "It's different now. Completely different."

"Now that you're on the winning side?"

Her shoulders lifted into a half shrug. "I'm not sure I know which is the winning side anymore. They've both got negatives."

"If you're here to moan about your dilemma of choosing sides, I really don't want to hear it."

Her feet shuffled before silence fell on the balcony once again. "You think it's a dilemma?" she questioned.

"What else would it be?" I muttered, hoping the conversation would end.

"You seem so prepared for all this," she said, her voice quiet. "You know what people are like now... Why they're like what they are, and why they do what they do... I still don't understand it."

I couldn't help but shake my head. "I'm not prepared, Lo."

"But you are," she disagreed.

I lifted myself up, cocking my head. "Have you seen me?"