I absolutely hate it....I'm thinking of suicide, like liget (however you spell it) thinking about suicide....I know it's not the answer but it's so tempting....I should be checked into a metal hospital now before its to late....I know people have it harder than me....I understand that, and I commend you for being strong and working through the tough times....
What I'm thinking about right now is to just write a suicide note, make my will, and staff myself in the chest cause it would feel better than what I'm feeling now.....dammit just remembered that I'm going on a trip with my bestie....I can't do "that" before we go.....that would be rude and very hurtful....now what I just thought about is that the school system all the way up to the gov school system is so screwed up. They have us running ragged and dry, giving us test after test, and giving us mock tests that don't even fucking count towards anything.....what the hell do they know about schools, when they probably haven't been in one for over 50 years. There running the students down, the teachers down, the school boards down/ the school boards are stupid. Like we don't even get time to fucking absorb the information we're learning before we move on to another subject, like I know we need to get ahead in the game of studies and shit but like WHAT THE FUCKING HELL. If we don't even get to absorb the information we learn, then how is that helping us in getting ahead of the curve?
Now I'm thinking about running away....after my trip to Georgia of course....but DUH, guess what? If I do that, and come back (which of course I know I would) I would be even more behind than I already am.....maybe I'll do an overdose on sleeping pills? Just fall into a dreamless sleep and fade away into my next life?....that would be nice....
Maybe I'm thinking about this school thing to dramatically but I mean colleges want the best of the best....they want to top and brightest students....what about all the others?
Now I just thought I'd I hit my head on the wall enough times maybe I'll knock myself out....and while I'm writing this I could have been working on a project that's due fucking tomorrow....I'll finish it, I will. But I'm going to be fucking pissed off if my group isn't going tomorrow. Even if this project takes me until morning, Ima finish it. Anyways, my venting session is over....gonna work on my project now, see ya.....
