Well I haven't written on here for a while. Decided to write today because of some things I've realized.
1. I take my feelings out on people
2. History and Patterns repeat
So I have a volleyball class and I have a few friends...four to be precise. And sometimes the coach tells us to get into groups of three. So I Boyce back and forth between the two. But, now I'm getting shit from the two girls that I usually play with. They might be playfully doing it, but I got frustrated enough that I took it out on the team I'm on now. Granted, he is a bit of an asshole egging them on...again might be joking but still!! He might of said somethings in a angry time, but he made me realize that I took my feelings of frustration and anger out on him. Which I'm grateful for, but at the same time errrrrh!!
Ok done with that one. Next.
So, I've had this friend for three/four years now and been best friends. And then we meet this girl this year and I feel like she took my best friend away...and it feels like the same thing that happened during my childhood. I need to break this habit/pattern....
I also realized that I always pick friends who need help or have problems in their life. I'm sick and tired of hearing about problems. I'm always the listener. I nod my head and say the things that need to be said, but I'm wondering why do I surround myself with people who have problems...I mean I understand that we all have problems big or small, but it's like a constant everyday. And then I'm surrounded by negative energy. Can we all just be happy that we're alive?
I want a best friend. That's just mine, and mine alone. We would have other friends and friends in common but we would always tell each other things and rely on each other. I know it's good to get different perspectives from different people...maybe I'm selfish when asking this.
I want to surround myself with happy and positive people. Maybe we won't always be positive but most of the time would be fantastic.
Don't get me wrong, I love my friends and I'll always be there for them...but I'm just tired.
